Petition to the
Advertisers: Taco Bell and Burger King
Dear [NAME]:
I want to call to your attention the vile, demeaning, and bigoted content
your advertising dollars made possible on Sunday night's Comedy Central
roast. You should know by now exactly what you are paying for when you buy
ad time on one of these Roasts. The Comedy Central roasts regularly revel in
some of the most outrageous and obscene "humor" imaginable; but this year,
the roast also wallowed in hateful, bigoted jokes about slave ships and gas
chambers at Auschwitz.
Here is a sampling of what your ad dollars paid for:
Seth MacFarlane, introducing Lisa Lampanelli: "She's what you might call a
sexually progressive woman. Her vagina's like Clorox 2, safe for whites, but
really made for coloreds. It's ok for me to do that joke because some of my
best friends are white."
Lisa Lampanelli: “David, you're huge in Germany. If they had played your
music in Auschwitz the Jews would have sprinted for those ovens."
Lisa Lampanelli: “David's liver is so black it's [bleeped "fucking"] two of
the Kardashian sisters."
Lisa Lampanelli: "Look at that old wrinkled brown thing over there, is that
George Hamilton or Oprah Winfrey's [bleeped "pussy"]?"
Lisa Lampanelli: "George, you're the closest thing we have to a black on the
dais. Oh, that's not because of your skin color. It's because you're a
terrible father and you haven't worked in 20 years."
Seth MacFarlane:" Our next presenter Jeffrey Ross puts the Jew back in the
phrase "Fat [bleeped "Fucking"] Jew."
Jeffrey Ross: "Why do the Germans love you so much? Maybe because you fill
the entertainment void left by Anne Frank."
Hulk Hogan: “The last time I tangled with a Jew, my ex-wife got half my
shit."
Gilbert Gottfried: “Lisa, I have one question! Where are all the black guys
you claim to be having sex with? Do you really think in this day and age
there is a single black guy who would be caught dead inside anyone who is
the size of a slave ship? Actually, Lisa has an important role in African
American history--it turns out the last black man to pick cotton was yanking
out her tampon."
Whitney Cummings: "Lisa, your vagina's like a bad movie--it opened wide and
all the Wayans brothers have been in it."
Greg Giraldo: "Your liver is so shriveled, black, and dead, if you put your
ear to your side, you'll hear it say, 'What you talking about Willis?"
Are you proud to be associated with this kind of content? Would you want
these lines plastered on a billboard along with your corporate logo? Or
printed on your menu? I should hope not. I hope you will send a loud and
clear message to Comedy Central that you do not want to do further damage to
your brand by continued association with the Roast. Will you denounce this
content and pledge to withhold your support from future roasts unless they
dispense with this kind of tawdry and biggoted humor?