Testees
on FX
Episode Summary
WARNING: GRAPHIC CONTENT
Testees
(back-to-back episodes on FX, Thursdays at 11:00/11:30 p.m. ET) continues to
plum the depth of lasciviousness for its puerile storylines. Each episode
appears to be just a lame excuse to show the hapless lead characters naked. The
episode that aired on December 4th contained the usual foul language,
graphic sexual content, and inappropriate dialogue that has made the new series
a frequent candidate for Worst Cable TV Show of the Week.
In this episode, human guinea pigs Ron and Peter test
high-tech chastity belts that emit an electrical charge whenever they have an
erection. Suddenly they realize that nearly everything arouses them.
Determined to survive the week-long experiment, the pair removes every
stimulating object from their apartment and attempts to clear their minds of
unwholesome thoughts.
Wouldn’t you know it, as soon as they start to ignore women,
two sexy vixens give them their phone numbers. After several wholesome dates,
the women demand sex. Ron and Peter try to appease them by performing oral sex,
but erections continue to plague them. There’s only one solution: the chastity
belts must come off. They try sawing them off, prying them off with a crowbar,
cracking the 5 digit security code – nothing works. One woman gets tired of
waiting and leaves. The other one tells both guys that whoever wants to have
sex with her should come find her in the bedroom whenever they are ready. Ron
and Peter race to be the first one to get his belt off. Ron’s strategy is to
input 5-digit codes based on religious references like Jesus and Moses. Peter,
meanwhile, learns from another test subject that the key is to wear out the
power source by taking Viagra and trapping oneself in a private porn booth.
Eventually, after enough erections, the belt will open. Ron visits a local
priest to help him figure out the code, but to no avail. As we walks out of the
church, he notices a pertinent Bible quote: “A man shall be joined to his wife,
and the two shall become one flesh.” Ron inputs the Scripture number and
miraculously, the chastity belt releases. Around the same time, Peter finally
wears out the belt’s power source. His belt also comes free. Ron and Peter
clamor and fight to be the first to reach the randy woman. When they open the
door they find another test subject has beaten them to her.
Not only does the show contain graphic sexual content, but it
also demeans chastity, abstinence, and the Bible. For its continued assault on
decency, Testees has once again been named the Worst Cable TV Show
of the Week.
