Rock of Love Bus with Bret Michaels
on VH1
Episode Summary
WARNING: GRAPHIC CONTENT
VH1’s Rock of Love Bus with Bret Michaels just keeps
on rolling, as Bret winnows the field of strippers, ex-porn stars, washed-up
models, and Penthouse playmates in search of his “true love.” In the
January 18th episode (10:00 P.M. ET), Bret took the ladies of dubious
virtue to their natural habitat – the strip club. For suggestive sexual
content, partial nudity, and bleeped expletives, Rock of Love Bus has
been named Worst Cable TV Show of the Week for the second straight
week.
The girls who earned the right to accompany Bret on a date
did so by winning a hockey challenge. Note: silicone and ice don’t mix. After
falling on her chest, Melissa apparently ruptured her implant. “I go face-first
into the ice,” Melissa explains, “And I’m freaking out thinking, ‘Oh, my God. I
popped my frickin’ implant.’” With her breast throbbing and her heart
twittering, Melissa powers through and proceeds to go on the date. All the
women are excited to finally spend some quality time with Bret. They are
somewhat disappointed when they realize that he’s taking them to Big Al’s – his
favorite Midwestern strip club. As the women enter, strippers greet them. (One
stripper’s top keeps falling off and her breasts are blurred.) It’s not exactly
the first date the contestants had hoped for. Yet, they take to the stage and
dance for the crowd, flashing their thong underwear, writhing on the floor, and
sliding up and down the stripper pole. “At first, I’m feeling like this isn’t
really the place that I wanna be on a date with Bret. Although, I love strip
clubs. But at the same time, I’m not a stripper.” No, she’s an ex-porn star –
clearly there’s a difference. “I don’t regret what I’ve done in the past,”
Brittaney states. “I’m not ashamed that I was a producer and director of porn.
What I did was empower women.” At least one woman has a very different view of
empowerment; Beverly refuses to dance on the stage and expose herself like the
rest of the ladies. As a mother of three, she’s worried what her kids’ friends
might say about her. For her sense of decorum, Bret labels her a “buzzkill.”
Later, Melissa is caught speaking to her former fiancé on her
cell phone. She insults Bret about his hair extensions, complains that he’s
old, and confesses she doesn’t like him as a person. When confronted by Bret
she denies she said such things, though a room full of girls heard her and, oh,
by the way, so did the camera and microphone. Bret ultimately kicks her off the
tour and she makes an obscene gesture to the cameras as she walks off stage.
She sums up experience this way: “I have a busted boob and f***ed up arm. It
so wasn’t worth it.”
Neither is this show.
