VH1 continues its never-ending parade of human train-wrecks with the premiere of Daisy of Love, the latest in a string of inane, formulaic reality/dating shows.  The formula: gather a collection of wannabes/has-beens/losers to vie for the affections of a wannabe/has-been/loser.  Add alcohol and let the vomit/fists/nude body parts fly.  For foul language, partial nudity, and explicit dialogue, Daisy of Love has been named Worst Cable TV Show of the Week.

Riki Rachtman greets the twenty eligible bachelors and – without recognizing the irony – warns the men against blatant self-promotion.  “You guys are thinking that you’re gonna want more T.V. time,” Riki admonishes, “and you’re here to become a T.V. star…how many of you guys are musicians? [Most of the men raise their hands.] Your bands suck, I don’t want to hear about it anymore.  We’re here for Daisy.”  Meanwhile, Daisy has parlayed being rejected by Bret Michaels on the second season of Rock of Love into a budding career as “a singer and model and all-around bad-ass.” 

During a montage of the upcoming season, contestants fight, one suitor is shown with blood dripping down his face, Daisy wears all manner of skimpy outfits, and one contestant is shown nude with a graphic covering his genitals after Daisy pulls his pants down in the dressing rooms. 

Immediately upon entering the house, the men crack open the booze.  It doesn’t take long for the antics to start.  While Daisy gives each contestant a nickname, a man calling himself Crazy Mike strips down to his thong underwear.  As if seeing his bare buttocks fill the screen weren’t enough, he does a backflip, earning him the moniker, “Flipper.”  The brilliant names don’t stop there, and neither does the show’s alleged “romance.”  As the men step up to meet Daisy, they invariably attempt to woo her with their eloquence.  Here’s what passes for poetry on the show:  “You’re [bleeped ‘f***ing’] gorgeous.”  Daisy finds this particular suitor attractive and gives him the nickname “Fox” because, as she puts it, “You are a [bleeped ‘f***ing’] stone cold fox.”  

As the night wears on, two of the suitors pass out from drinking too much.  London vomits on the floor and Weasel ends up unconscious in his bunk.  Cage hovers over Weasel and says, “I can’t believe he’s this [bleeped ‘f***ed’ up].”  Of course, his compassion is short-lived.  Cage and the other guys write all over Weasel’s face just before elimination.  Cage tells the camera, “Weasel’s sitting there [bleeped ‘f***ing’] barely able to stand, [bleeped ‘s***’] all over his face.  You know what I mean?  This guy, he’s definitely going home.”

Apparently, Daisy’s standards are amazingly low; she allows Weasel to staying for at least one more week.  Low standards, in general, plague these shows and if the clips of future episodes are accurate, viewers can expect more alcohol-fueled, low-brow antics. 

For foul language, partial nudity, and explicit dialogue Daisy of Love has been named Worst Cable TV Show of the Week.

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