Comedy Central’s monument to irreverence, South Park, resumed its 13^th season Wednesday, October 7 at 10:00 p.m. ET. Though fans of the show are vocal in distinguishing it from Seth MacFarlane series like Family Guy, in fact there is little to choose between the two programs. MacFarlane’s output is consistently left-leaning, while South Park’s creators Trey Parker and Matt Stone are libertarians; and, though it pains one to admit it, the quality of the animation on MacFarlane’s shows is far superior to that on South Park. But in terms of offensive content, both shows are heinous. Family Guy mixes excrement jokes in with its anti-Semitism, violence, sleazy sex, and mockery of celebrities...and so does South Park.  

The premise of the episode in question is encapsulated by its title, “Dead Celebrities.” The show opens with kindergarten student Ike walking in on his parents having sex, as his father Mr. Broflovski graphically thrusts atop his wife in bed. In between grunts and moans, the yarmulke-wearing father gasps to his wife, “You're a naughty girl.” She replies, “Oh yes, Darrel! I've been so naughty!” The door swings open to reveal Ike, whose startled father orders him back to bed. Instead, Ike opens a closet door, to find a panty-clad David Carradine swinging from a hook.

The next day at school, the obnoxious Cartman greets Ike’s brother Kyle with the salutation, “Hey, Jew!” When Kyle reveals that Ike is seeing dead celebrities, Cartman scoffs. Later, the boys enjoy a TV commercial featuring now-deceased pitchman Billy Mays:

Billy Mays: “If you're like other Americans you love to eat chipotle, but you hate all those terrible blood stains in your underwear.”

Man in commercial: “I love Chipotle, but getting all those blood stains out of my underwear is a nightmare.”

Kyle: “Dude, why the hell would you do that?...Why the hell would you keep eating something that made you crap blood?”

Stan: “Dude, I eat chipotle all the time. It never made me crap blood.” 

After Cartman admits that he does pass blood after eating chipotle but continues to eat it, Kyle berates him. Cartman offers the witty rejoinder, “Not everyone can be the boy with the golden butthole.”

And in a non-sequitur every bit as random as anything on Family Guy, characters from the cable TV program Ghost Hunters (“the gayest show on TV,” according to South Park) show a fascination with their own excrement:

Ghost Hunter: “What is this? There's a wetness coming from my pants. Look, it's got you, too.”

Ghost Hunter 2: “It's warm and moist, a warm moist sensation that's moving down my left thigh….

Something hot and warm is coming out the back of my pants now.”

Later, a doctor is knocked out of a hospital window by a burst of supernatural energy by dead celebrities, including Michael Jackson. She falls several stories and lands on the ground in a twisted bloody mess, her entrails hanging out. The spirits of the dead celebrities are show to be confined in an airplane-like purgatory, where they bicker with one another, spouting profanity as they complain about Billy Mays’ pitches

Walter Cronkite: “Will somebody shut his [bleeped ‘f******’] mouth! I can't take it anymore!”

Patrick Swayze: “This is bad enough without having to listen to you sell your stupid crap, Mays!”

Billy Mays: “With just two easy steps, I can climb over these steps and kick you in the [bleeped ‘f******’] balls.”

Having indulged in excrement jokes and mockery of celebrities, of course no episode of South Park would be complete without “humor” about child molestation. At a junior beauty pageant talent show, a young girl performs a baton-twirling routine onstage. A middle-aged judge openly masturbates under the table, with his hand down his pants. Then kindergartener Ike, possessed by the spirit of Michael Jackson and dressed as a little girl, performs a (tasteless) song: “I’m just a little girl/ A dainty little thing/ And I know you all want to be/ A little white girl like me…” As he does so, both male judges are shown openly and vigorously masturbating under the table. After the judges are arrested by police, Michael Jackson's spirit leaves Ike's body. When Ike finds he is dressed as a girl, the little boy exclaims, “Holy [bleeped ‘s***’]! What the [bleeped ‘f***’] am I wearing? Kyle, what the [bleeped ‘f***’] is going on?” The episode charmingly concludes with the baton-twirling little girl apologizing, “I'm sorry I didn't win, Mommy,” whereupon the girl’s mother slaps her.

After thirteen seasons, South Park has lost none of its capacity to turn any subject into fodder for its “humor.”  But even more depressing than the show’s utter tastelessness is the fact that it has become a favorite with young children. When in the future scholars document how our culture collapsed into ruin, one tiny, obscure footnote should be reserved for South Park.

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