What does it say about a television program when the most sensitive character, the one who yearns the most for a genuine, human connection with other people, is a star in pornographic movies? One thing it says is that the program in question must be Nip/Tuck, the FX network’s premiere parade of perversion. As Halloween is approaching, it is perhaps appropriate that this noxious program apparently took the inspiration for its October 28^th episode from The Rocky Horror Picture Show; the 10:00 p.m. (ET) demented drama featured cross-dressing, murder, and too many graphic descriptions of kinky sex for anyone but a sweet transvestite from Transsexual, Transylvania to appreciate.   

Several minor themes played out over the course of the episode: Sean and Christian are asked by a transvestite to create a female mask which will give his cross-dressing added verisimilitude.  Sean suddenly elopes and marries his serial killer, drug-addict girlfriend Teddy. Straight-laced Sean’s new bride ultimately murders a patient on the operating table via an over-application of leeches, and plots to kill Sean’s children for his insurance settlement.  Sean also receives a visit from his always-morose daughter Annie, who now suffers from a disturbing medical condition which causes her to pull out her hair and eat it.  And further intensifying the Halloween feel of the episode, Sean’s street-mime-turned-gangsta son Matt puts in an appearance, brandishing a pistol as he applies his mime makeup.

But as always, it is in its graphic depictions and descriptions of twisted sex that Nip/Tuck plunges headlong into the gutter. Jealous of younger surgeon Mike over the attentions of his own former girlfriend, lover, fiancée, bride and porn star Kimber, Christian seeks out his ex for a tawdry heart-to-heart:

Christian: “I hear there's trouble in paradise. Why won't you sleep with him?…He can't keep his c** in his c*** long enough for you to get off?”

Kimber: “No. In fact he has a few moves that would make you blush...The problem is that he's perfect, and just when I'm ready to let go, I think of you. And then a little voice pops in my head saying, ‘Is he gonna ask you to pee on him? Or is he gonna put you in handcuffs? Or is he gonna hand you a dildo?’  And I'm tired of it. I want a connection...Every man turns into a complete ass**** the minute you open up to him. So I keep him sweet, I keep him vulnerable, by not putting out so much.”

Christian: “Well, you know they say. There's no prude like an old whore.”

The jealous Christian then victimizes Kimber further by offering misleading advice to Mike on how to satisfy her: by cross-dressing as a woman, of course!

Christian: “Kimber's a porn star. She's done it every which way and then some, right? Oral, anal, double penetration, triple team. You think she cares about some regular Joe C*** guy?

Mike: “Jeez Christian, what did you two do when you were together?”

Christian: “I was banging her before her p**** became a revolving door, because one thing that got her off was when I dressed up like a woman. That s***, she loves it. The kinkier the better.”

Later, Christian asks Mike about his date with Kimber.

Christian: “She liked the kinky tranny look?”

Mike: “Totally.”

A flashback shows Mike standing before Kimber in the bedroom. Mike drops his robe to reveal the high heels, fishnet stocking and female lingerie he is wearing.

Mike: “I wanted you to see that I'm in touch with my feminine side…I went crazy and bought a whole bunch more stuff at cross dresser dot com. Bras, corsets, panties, strap-on latex boobs.”

Like Rocky Horror, Nip/Tuck is obsessed with bizarre, fetishistic sex; but unlike the movie, Nip/Tuck has pretentions to serious drama.  Unfortunately, over time Nip/Tuck has collapsed into a pathetic self-parody. Given producer Ryan Murphy’s work on the Fox show Glee, and his apparent obsession with the themes of The Rocky Horror Picture Show, can an all-musical, all-transvestite episode of Nip/Tuck be far away?  

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