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The Worst Cable Content of the Week

 

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The Hard Times of RJ Berger on MTV

Episode Summary

 

WARNING: GRAPHIC CONTENT

 

MTV’s The Hard Times of RJ Berger (Mondays, 10:00 p.m. ET) goes beyond merely being the Worst Cable TV Show of the Week. Here are just a few reasons – all taken from the program’s the June 28th episode – that demonstrate that cable subscribers should resent being forced to pay for this mound of feculence.

 

Why should cable subscribers hate this show? Let us count the ways:

 

1) Its recycled plot, ripped off from the movie The Graduate – a rip-off so blatant it cannot even be called a “homage.” With a plot involving a neighbor lady who tries to seduce RJ, the episode is even titled, “Here’s To You, Mrs. Robbins.” So much for creativity, originality – or integrity. 

 

2) Its portrayal of every single adult (and parent) as a lecherous, sex-crazed hypocrite who gleefully participates in group sex at every opportunity;

 

  • As she sorts the laundry (complaining of the “crusty mess” in the toe of each of his socks, presumably residue from RJ using them to masturbate), RJ tells his mother that he needs $300. Her first reaction is to assume he has gotten a girl pregnant and wants to pay for her abortion:

 

Mom: “First of all, I know for a fact you can get that done for under a hundred. But let me ask you, have you and the young lady considered dropping it off at a fire station? Selling it to a nice gay couple?”

 

When RJ makes it clear that he wants to buy Jenny a birthday present, his mother exults, slapping her own rear: “This is not the ass of a grandmother.” She then sits atop the dryer and squeals in orgasm as RJ watches.

 

  • Mrs. Robbins takes RJ to her tennis club. They run into Jenny, and Mrs. Robbins remarks: “I am jealous of your perky little boobies, Jenny. Bet you'd do anything to tear that up, huh?”

 

  • Mrs. Robbins attempts to seduce RJ by telling him about her “first time.”  She recounts being molested by an elderly gardener when she was a teenager. A cartoon flashback shows them having sex in the back of a pickup truck as the man’s friends watch. She concludes, “To this day, I can't hear a leafblower without thinking of all those afternoons under his greasy, sweaty manliness.”

 

  • Mr. Robbins bursts in on his wife and RJ, who is wearing only boxer shorts.  He reaches into his crotch and pulls off his shirt. He stands there in his underwear.

  

Mr. Robbins: “Don't you dare open your mouth... and ruin a perfect moment!”

 

3) Its non-stop smirking sexual innuendo, complete with dialogue nobody outside of a pornographic movie (or lousy MTV series) would ever use – dialogue only clever to people for whom Beavis and Butt-head was too highbrow and subtle;

 

  • Miles: “You're not thinking of mailing her a jar of your pubes or anything? Dude, girls like Jenny don't spread for stupid sketches.... you gotta spend that coin if you wanna get that loin.”

 

  • RJ complains to Lily about his friend Miles’ behavior.

 

RJ: “He's being an asshole, Lily. I'm busting my ass, trimming hedges.”

 

Lily: “Why didn't you tell me? I would have paid you to trim my hedges.”

 

Even more insultingly, this gag is repeated again in the same episode, when Mrs. Robbins yells at RJ to “Trim my hedges.” Yes, okay…you’re referring to pubic hair. We get it.

 

  • After recounting her “first time” with Jorge, Mrs. Robbins tells RJ, “I want to be your WHORE-hey!” Because, see, “Jorge” sounds like “whore-hey.” How clever these writers are!

 

To those who protest “that’s’ only three reasons”…aren’t these three reasons enough, considering that every cable and satellite subscriber in America is forced to pay for this rubbish?

 

This program is hopelessly adolescent, even juvenile. Of course, the obvious rejoinder is that the program is MADE for juvenile adolescents; but do not adolescents – who are, after all, still growing children – deserve something better than THIS as entertainment?

 

For constantly pandering to the lowest common denominator and pushing sexually explicit garbage at kids, MTV’s The Hard Times of RJ Berger definitely qualifies as the Worst Cable TV Show of the Week.

 

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