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Comedy Central's Roast of Joan Rivers

 

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THE ISSUE

Can the sexual molestation of a child be funny? Comedy Central thinks so. And so, apparently, do a couple dozen of America’s largest corporations that chose to sponsor the Roast of Joan Rivers.

We anticipated that this "Roast" would be explicit, but it was far more so than we anticipated, given that there were jokes about molesting children, pervasive sexually explicit dialogue, and even Joan Rivers cursing at and giving the middle finger to real child actors who appeared in the special.

When the PTC issued an advisory about this program before it aired, a Comedy Central spokeswoman said that the roast was "designed to appeal to the Comedy Central audience, not the PTC audience." Yet Comedy Central’s parent company, Viacom, is quite content to force PTC members – and indeed tens of millions of cable subscribers across America – to pay a monthly fee for Comedy Central as part of a product bundle of its cable networks.
 


If you agree that this content crossed the line,

Take Action Now.

 

1)  Given that this was not a live program, advertisers who sponsored this special have no excuse and the public should express their concern to these companies.

 

2) Consumers who are disgusted at the thought that their cable dollars helped fund this disturbing content should immediately contact their Congressmen and demand cable choice. 

Click here to voice your support for cable consumer choice.

 

3) Contact the executives at Viacom and Comedy Central and demand an apology for their gross insensitivity to the innocent victims of child sexual abuse.

 

Viacom

Sumner Redstone, Executive Chairman and Founder

1515 Broadway
New York, NY 10036
(800) 516-4399

Click here to register your complaint with Viacom.

 

Comedy Central

Michele Ganeless, President

1775 Broadway

New York, NY 10019

(212) 767-8600

Click here to register your complaint with Comedy Central.

 

4) Support the PTC's efforts to hold Hollywood responsible for this outrageous content.

 

.


WARNING: 

EXPLICIT CONTENT

 

Comedy Central Roast of Joan Rivers
Aired on Sunday, August 9, 2009

10:00 PM ET/PT
TV-MA L

 

• KATHY GRIFFIN: Joanalah's not an orthodox Jew, but men still [bleeped "fuck"] her through a sheet so they don't have to look at that face. Now, I've done my research, and I read that you had your first face job at 32. You swallowed, wiped the rest off and then went in for some plastic surgery. Joan, can we talk? My guess is you don't have much of a sex life anymore. The only people you're screwing these days are your customers on QVC.

• ROBIN QUIVERS: I feel so at home up here. Maybe it's because my show is also hosted by a frizzy-haired, loud mouth, with a nose job and a tiny penis. Gilbert Gottfried, actually Gilbert is the voice-over king. He does the parrot in Aladdin, the duck in the Aflac commercial. And the gerbil in Mario's ass. Please, Mario is so gay he has to do a Brazilian wax for the pubes in his teeth.

• GILBERT GOTTFRIED: Anyone who has listened to the Howard Stern show has heard Robin talk about being molested by her father. She won't shut up about it. She's very proud of it. But what Robin Quivers conveniently leaves out of her delightful anecdote is that even as a kid she was so ugly that her father would close his eyes and fantasize about her sister... who was no looker herself I might add... and when he was done pillaging that homely daughter he used to whisper "don't tell anyone," because he was embarrassed. Oh, the shame that that poor man must have felt having to hide the fact that his molestation standards were so low.

• GILBERT GOTTFRIED: But Joan was an animal, she quickly disrobed, her ashy yellow veiny skin was cold and smooth to the touch like a dead komodo dragon, which made my young comic's custard canon rock hard. She spread her legs and I was immediately blinded by a flurry of bats. When the bats had cleared, I saw it, the fabled Joan Rivers vagina, it was magnificent, a gleaming pink flower, glistening with morning dew, it filled the room with sunshine and rainbows, a unicorn looked out of it winking as if to beckon me inside. "Take me," Joan hissed, "fill me with your seed so I may live another century." She climbed atop two cases of Rolling Rock and began thrusting her heavenly loins upon my young comic's zoober gooper. I shouted "take it all mein Bobby" then she exploded, sending a hot rush of love slime sloshing to the floor where it burned a hole into the sewer below. Spent, I fell backward tumbling into the furiously masturbating Tom Arnold, only to watch the great Joan Rivers slither away into the open drain pipe.

• Joan: When you do the Howard Stern show, every time there's a break, she goes "oh, my father molested me. My father molested me." Take a good look at yourself darling, let me tell you something, you should be thrilled that that man paid any attention at all. I saw you naked backstage, bitch, you look like a [bleeped 'fucking'] mudslide.

• Joan Rivers insults Tom Arnold: You were in Betty Ford more times than Gerald was... The only thing lower than your ratings are Carl Reiner's balls. Show 'em, Carl.

 

• Joan Rivers insults Mario Cantone:  Welcome to the dais. Dorothy, you're not in Ken's ass anymore.... you took a shit last week and Rock Hudson came out.
 

• Joan Rivers insults Greg Giraldo:  I said, who the [bleeped 'fuck'] is Greg Giraldo, and I thought this was wrong, so I went and googled you and google said "who the [bleeped 'fuck'] is Greg Giraldo?"

• Joan Rivers comes out on stage holding hands with six little kids of different nationalities and says that Brad and Angelina are having a yard sale.
She pulls at one little girl and says: "This one speaks English, say something!"
The girl doesn't speak but then Joan says: "That's [bleeped 'fucking'] enough."
She shoves at the line of kids and says: "All right, kids, go make jewelry!"
Behind the kids' backs, she flips her middle finger and says: "I hate children."

•KATHY GRIFFIN: "No matter where you go, or who you meet, everyone says the same thing your gynecologist said the first time he looked at ya, "Oh my God, what an ugly [bleeped 'cunt']."

• GREG GIRALDO: "The first time I heard your voice my foreskin fell off. What have you done to your upper lip? Did you blow a bee hive? Holy shit!"
"You looked like Steven Tyler [bleeped 'fucked'] a life raft."
"All these rubber faced monsters, what the [bleeped 'fuck']?"
"You once said you succeeded by saying what every one else was thinking. That's not true. It's not true. I never heard you say Holy shit, what the [bleeped 'fuck'] did I do to my face?"
"Shit, you even got a boob job a few years ago. You're every man's dream. Every man that dreams of titty [bleeped 'fucking'] a crocodile."

• MARIO CANTONE:  And you were brilliant in the vagina monologues. [Impersonating Joan Rivers] "My vagina talks and talks and talks and doesn't know what the [bleeped 'fuck'] it's saying! That's not true, my vagina does talk and all it says is 'water, water, oil can, oil can.'"

• DONALD TRUMP:  Joan, I, Donald Trump, have agreed to finance and oversee your complete overhaul. My trained eye tells me since 1982 you've been condemned from the waist down. And like most dilapidated structures you haven't been entered in decades. We'll tent you fumigate you and if necessary, send in a hazmat team to remove all hazardous materials found in the toxic pool you call a vagina, which has already been responsible for one fatality. Trump Rivers will be one of my biggest projects ever. But Donald Trump is up for the challenge to make you what we call in the real estate business dick-friendly. ... If you're not there on time on Monday, you're ass is fired.

• JEFF ROSS: Nip-tuck. What the [bleeped 'fuck']? This isn't a roast this is an autopsy. ... Have you seen you new YouTube video? "Forget Matt Damon, I [bleeped 'fucked'] Charlie Chapman." ... But all kidding aside Joan, I think you're incredibly sexy. I would [bleeped 'fuck'] you like there's no tomorrow. Because for you that's a distinct possibility... [Talking about Kathy Griffin] Wow, look at that. When did Howdy Doody [bleeped 'fuck'] Pippy Longstocking? Holy shit. Kathy Griffin, I wouldn't [bleeped 'fuck'] you with Chastity Bono's new dick. ... [referring to Carl Reiner] Actually, tonight I should call you van because you're sitting in between a dick and dyke. ... You're amazing Joan. Forty years of telling it like it is. You got the biggest balls in the business and Joan her whole life all she wanted to just be considered one of the guys. And good new is, your doctor says you're only three surgeries away.

• CARL REINER: Wait, wait, I want to try out my new found freedom. [bleeped 'fuck']. Let me throw in just a shit. That's nothing. But, by the way, has anybody tonight - I don't think so - has anybody used the word [bleeped 'cock'] sucker? I did it. Oh, I wish my mother and father were alive to see this. Their son has made it. He's a modern kid. ...[speaking about George Burns] What do I have to look forward to in my, you know, sex life. And he said to me - which I give to you, you can all use it because it's true - he said, "Have you ever tried to put an oyster in a slot machine?" ... Anyway, my last word and this is a word I have never ever said anywhere and I heard it tonight and I'm gonna try to say it ... it's the word for vagina and I'm gonna make an attempt.  Please help me get through this...I'm gonna try to say it - "C-C-[bleeped 'cunt']. I said, I said."

• WHITNEY CUMMINGS: Gilbert Gottfried is here. Gilbert, what is with the squinting, stop looking for Jeff Ross's dick, you're never going to find it. Gilbert's always been a big inspiration for me, Gilbert I used to love when you'd do that thing when you'd smash watermelon's on stage. Speaking of watermelon's, Robin Quivers is here. Robin does only sleep with white men, Robin's [bleeped 'fucked'] so many white guys Abercrombie and Fitch took out ad space on her taint. Robin's vagina is like the first five minutes of a movie, it's never been seen by a black guy. Robin Quivers has slept with so many white guys her hymen hasn't even broken yet. Robin's been hammered so hard her vagina looks like Seal's face. Speaking of people who make my vagina dry up, Greg Giraldo is here. Greg, the only work you ever get is this roast, no one has any idea who you are, you're like the Jeff Ross of comedy. The only thing lower then Greg Giraldo's ticket sales is Mario Cantone's T-cell count. Mario Cantone is so gay his safe word is Mario Cantone.  Now stop it, I love Mario Cantone, we're actually neighbors, I found that out on Meganslaw.com. Tom Arnold is here everybody. Tom was on that "Best Damn Sports Show." Tom is really into sports, in fact that whole time he was married to Roseanne she was pitching and he was catching. You and Roseanne were like the original tabloid couple, you guys were like Jon and Kate plus an eight ball. And now for the amazing Joan Rivers. Joan, I loved you in "The Wrestler." Look at Joan, I always wanted to know what Ivana Trump would look like if she was dating Chris Brown. Joan Rivers has done some TV, I actually recently saw her vagina on an episode of "The Deadliest Catch." I can't imagine what that vagina looks like, Joan's vagina is so old it has a separate entrance for black cocks.

Sponsors:

If Comedy Central chooses to rebroadcast the program over the coming weeks, the PTC will monitor each airing and publish the sponsors of every broadcast. 


 

MillerCoors LLC
250 S. Wacker, Ste.800
Chicago, IL 60606

Phone: 312-456-2700
Toll Free: 800-645-5376
http://www.millercoors.com

 

Yum! Brands

David C. Novak, Chairman and CEO

1441 Gardiner Lane

Louisville, KY 40213

Phone: 502-874-8300

Website

Yum.investor@yum.com

 

Sony Pictures Entertainment

Michael Lynton, Chairman &  CEO
10202 West Washington Boulevard
Culver City ,  CA  90232
Phone: (310) 244-4000
Fax: (310) 244-2626

Michael_lynton@spe.sony.com

 

Unilever
Michael Treschow, Chairman

700 Sylvan Ave.
Englewood Cliffs, NJ 07632
Phone: 201-894-4000
Toll Free: 877-995-4483
Fax: 201-541-5345
http://www.unilever.com

 

Sprint Co

Daniel Hesse, CEO

6200 Sprint Pkwy

Overland Park, KA 66251

913 624 3000

Click here to contact Sprint

 

Toyota Motor Corp.

Yoshimi Inaba, Chairman

9 W. 57th St., Ste. 4900
New York, NY 10019-2701
Phone: 212-223-0303
Fax: 212-759-7670
http://www.toyota.com

Click here to contact Toyota

 

Kia Motors Corporation

111 Peters Canyon Rd.
Irvine, CA 92606-1790

Phone: 949-470-7177
Toll Free: 800-225-5542
Fax: 949-470-2809
http://www.kiamotors.com

 

Johnson & Johnson

William Weldon, Chairman and CEO

1 Johnson & Johnson Plaza

New Brunswick, NJ 80933

732-524-0400

Click here to contact J&J

 

Apple Computer
Steven P. Jobs, CEO and Director
1 Infinite Loop
Cupertino, CA 95014
408-996-1010

Click here to contact Apple

 

The Hershey Company
Richard H Lenny, Chairman, President and CEO

100 Crystal A Dr.
Hershey, PA 17033 
Phone: 717-534-4200
Toll Free: 800-539-0261
http://www.thehersheycompany.com

Click here to contact Hershey's  

 

Visa Inc.
Joseph Saunders, Chairman and CEO

900 Metro Center Blvd.
Foster City, CA 94404 
Phone: 650-432-3200
Toll Free: 800-947-2911
Fax: 650-432-7436
http://corporate.visa.com

Click here to contact Visa

 

U.S. Army

The Honorable Thomas White

1500 Army Pentagon

Washington, DC 20310

 

Wendy's/Arby's Group, Inc.
Roland Smith, President, CEO, and Director

1155 Perimeter Center West
Atlanta, GA 30338
Phone: 678-514-4100
Toll Free: 888-514-0924
Fax: 212-451-3134
http://www.wendysarbys.com

Click here to contact Wendy's

 

Subway Sandwich Shops

Frederick A. DeLuca, President and CEO

325 Bic Drive

Milford, CT 06460

203-877-4281

Click here to contact Subway

 

Berkshire Hathaway Inc. Warren Buffett, Chairman and CEO

(Parent company of Geico)
3555 Farnam St., Ste. 1440
Omaha, NE 68131
Phone: 402-346-1400
Fax: 402-346-3375
http://www.berkshirehathaway.com

berkshire@berkshirehathaway.com

 

OSI Restaurant Partners, LLC

A. William Allen III, CEO and Director

2202 N. West Shore Blvd., Ste. 500
Tampa, FL 33607 
Phone: 813-282-1225
http://www.osirestaurantpartners.com

Click here to Contact OSI
 

Sonic Corporation
Jeffry D, Carper, VP Field Marketing
300 Johnny Bench Drive
Oklahoma City, Ok 73104
405-225-5000
405-280-7696
www.sonicdrivein.com

Boost Mobile, LLC
Matt Carter, President
8845 Irvine Center Dr., Ste. 200
Irvine, CA 92618
949-789-4800
949-789-4888
www.boostmobile.com 

DIRECTV Group, Inc.
Chase Carey
President, CEO, and Director
2230 E. Imperial Hwy.
El Segundo, CA 90245
310-964-5000
310-535-5225
www.directv.com 

Red Bull North America
Todd Thomason, Manager
1740 Stewart Street
Santa Monica, CA 90404-4022
310-393-4647
www.redbullusa.com

Paramount Vantage
Guy Stodel, President
555 Melrose Ave., Chevalier Bldg, 2nd Fl
Los Angeles, CA 90038
323-956-2000
323-862-1212
www.paramountclassics.com

Hotels.com, LP
David Roche, President
10440 N. Central Expwy, Ste. 400
Dallas, TX 75231
214-361-7311
214-361-7299
www.hotels.com

The Absolut Spirits Co., Inc
Krister Asplund, Vice President
401 Park Ave. S., Fl 7
New York, NY 10016-8808
212-641-8100

Lakeshore Entertainment Group
Thomas Rosenberg, Chairman and CEO
9268 W. 3rd St.
Beverly Hills, CA 90210
310-867-8000
310-300-3015
www.lakeshoreentertainment.com

Ashland, Inc.
James O' Brien Jr., Chairman and CEO
50 E. RiverCenter Blvd
Covington, KY 41012-0391
859-815-3333
859-815-5053
www.ashland.com 

Beiersdorf, Inc.
Ian Holding, President and CEO
187 Danbury Rd., Ste 7
Wilton, CT 06897-4079
203-563-5800
203-563-5893
www.bdfusa.com 

Sony Pictures Entertainment, Inc.
Michael Lynton, Co-Chairman and CEO
10202 W. Washington Blvd
Culver City, CA 90232-3195
310-244-4000
310-244-2626
www.sonypictures.com
 
Weinstein Company, LLC.
Bob Weinstein, Co-Chairman
345 Hudson St, 13th Fl
New York, NY 10014
646-862-3400
917-368-7000
www.weinsteinco.com

Universal Studios, Inc.
Ron Meyer, President and COO
100 Universal City Plaza
Universal City, CA 91608
818-777-1000
www.universalstudios.com

Scripps Networks Interactive, Inc.
Kenneth Lowe, Chairman, President, and CEO
312 Walnut St.
Cincinnati, OH 45202
513-824-3200
513-824-3383
www.scrippsnetworks.com 

Universal Technical Institute, Inc.
John White, Chairman
20410 N. 19th Ave., Ste 200
Phoenix, AZ 85027
623-445-9500
623-445-9501
www.uticorp.com

Electronic Arts, Inc.
Lawrence Probst III, Chairman
209 Redwood Shores Pkwy
Redwood City, CA 94065
650-628-1500
650-628-1422
www.ea.com

Pernod Ricard USA
Paul Duffy, Chairman & CEO
100 Manhattanville Rd
Purchase, NY 10577
914-848-4800
914-848-4777

Fuji Heavy Industries
Yoshio Hasunuma, Chairman, President, and CEO
2235 Rte. 70 West
Cherry Hill, NJ 80002
856-488-8500
856-488-3137
www.fhi.co.jp/english/
 

 

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