Sunday night program GCB (original title: “Good Christian B**ches”)
imitates the Desperate Housewives formula: take a number of
shallow, materialistic, sex-obsessed women; give them some pretext, no
matter how flimsy, for acting catty and sniping at one another; and add
a few bumbling, clueless, token husbands. Result: a new nighttime soap.
Unfortunately, the Disney-owned network has also found it necessary to
inject an insultingly caricatured and totally one-sided image of
religion into the picture. All of the villainous,
vengeance-crazed women are devout Christians.
program’s protagonist, non-believer Amanda – supposedly the “queen b**ch”
in high school – possesses the virtues of a saint. Meanwhile, the show’s
churchgoing “good Christian women” – particularly their chief, Carlene
Cockburn -- are presented as petty, two-faced, back-stabbing,
liquor-swilling, sexually aggressive hypocrites.
one-sided portrayal of Christians as uniformly wicked, and the show’s
sleazy mixture of sex and religious sentiment, reveal the attitudes of
GCB’s makers. The ONLY time Scripture is quoted on the program is when
Carlene uses it as a hypocritical “excuse” to perform some blatantly
un-Christian action. The ONLY thing viewers see occurring during the
church service is Carlene offering a back-stabbing, slanderous “prayer” to
attack other people. And the ONLY decent, likeable character on the
program is also the only one who professes no religion. On GCB,
Christianity is ALWAYS a farce, and ALL Christians are hypocrites, who
ONLY use their religion to attack others and “justify” their own sinful
is merely the latest and most extreme example of
industry’s uniquely unfair treatment of Christians and their religion.
does scripted prime-time television ever show Christianity as a
positive influence, either in private life or in society as a whole?
Just as with profanity and sexual content, those using the broadcast
airwaves – which belong to the American people, not to the networks --
have both an ethical and a Congressionally-mandated legal obligation to
avoid giving extreme offense to any group. It is inexcusable that
the networks – who use this medium to make billions of dollars a year, and
use it for free – should be allowed to use it to deliberately
offend, slander, and outrage millions of Americans.
LATEST LOWLIGHTS FROM GCB
Episode 7: April 15, 2012 10:00 pm ET
"Pride Comes Before a Fall"
A number of congregants leave United Memorial for another church, reviving
Pastor Tudor's old rivalry with the other church's pastor, Reverend Steve.
To help Pastor Tudor outdo Steve and to erase her bad image, Amanda organizes
and directs a church musical. Carlene, Cricket, Heather and Amanda bicker over
who gets the lead role. Amanda finds herself slipping back into her pushy
high-school "mean girl" persona. She finally puts feelings to rest by allowing
the other women to dump mud on her, as she did to them in high school. The
musical is a success.
Sharon goes on a shopping channel to market her "Losin' It with Jesus" diet
meals. She asks Gigi to coach her, but the perfectionist Gigi only adds to her
stress. Ultimately, Gigi tells Sharon to be herself, and Sharon successfully
sells all her meals.
Amanda offers to let the women dump mud on her to relieve their negative
feelings from high school. When they refuse, she taunts Carlene.
Amanda: "I slept with your brother. You caught your son masturbating to a photo
of me. You couldn't become a star even if Hollywood was destroyed by a meteor."
Carlene dumps the mud on Amanda. Cricket joins in.
Cricket: "I do not have herpes! I don't have herpes!"
Pastor Tudor tells Amanda about his old rival, Reverend Steve.
Pastor: "We went to seminary together. He's perfect. Encyclopedic knowledge of
scripture, plays guitar, married the prettiest girl in our 'Preaching Through
the Psalms' class. Okay, maybe I am a little competitive. I'm human. I try not
Reverend Steve comes to Pastor Tudor's car window.
Rev. Steve: "Oh, John. Y'all want to check out our amphitheater. Our performing
arts ministry is rehearsing 'Godspell’…What's your annual musical? I'm sure
you're planning something huge, it being your 75th anniversary and all."
Amanda: "We're doing the most incredible show in the history of Hillside Park!
Much bigger than 'Godspell'...It's original. It's never been done before, and
we're creating our own thing."
Rev. Steve leaves. Pastor Tudor stares at Amanda, incredulous at her lie.
Pastor: "That was some serious false witnessing!"
Carlene fears Amanda won't give her the lead in the musical.
Carlene: "Cricket is trying to steal my God-given right to the lead role. What
if she's successful? The entire congregation expects MY triumph at every musical
endeavor this church puts forth. It's been years since the Exodus operetta, and
folks are still talking about my burning bush."
Amanda directs a rehearsal in the church. Bozeman crawls on the floor.
“disciple”: "Eww, it's a leper. Don't touch him!"
"leper": "Have, like, mercy on me…Lord, if you are willing, make me less gross."
Reverend Steve comes in and talks to Pastor Tudor in the audience.
Rev. Steve: "I thought I'd pay you a visit, see how big miracles are going."
Rev. Steve sees Carlene flapping her arms.
Rev: Steve: "I love your bird. What's she supposed to be, a toucan? Wounded
ostrich?...It's kind of a bare bones set. Gosh, we have a rotating
platform and lasers. But hey, less is more. Sometimes."
Rev. Steve leaves. Pastor Tudor looks crestfallen.
Carlene threatens Heather to get her to give Carlene a bigger part in the play.
Carlene: "I don't bring Ecclesiastes out lightly, but let's visit 9:10:
'Whatever thy hand finds to do, do it with all thy might.' Show me your
might, Heather...or I might have to show other people the business I give you."
The musical is performed. A montage shows:
Carlene/Holy Spirit and Ripp/Jesus toasting each other by clinking goblets
Blake/Lazarus bursting off his bandages
disciples dancing with loaves and fishes
Ripp/Jesus healing Cricket/leper
Ripp/Jesus and Blake/Lazarus playing electric guitars
A wire harness hurls Carlene (dressed as an angel representing the Holy Spirit)
over the audience's head. She smashes into the church's stained glass window,
Sharon markets her meals on a shopping channel.
host: "You mean to tell me that mustard vinaigrette is in the Bible?"
Sharon: "Well, Matthew 13:31 mentions the mustard seed. They had vinegar. They
had olive oil. I'd like to think so. With God, all things are possible...Nothing
does a body good like Losin' It with Jesus!"