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Saturday Night Live Sports Extra ‘09 on NBC

Saturday Night Live has been riding a wave of popularity ever since the historic 2008 presidential race provided Tina Fey with the opportunity to capitalize on her uncanny resemblance to Sarah Palin.  SNL’s parent network NBC, however, has been scrambling to shore up its sagging prime-time schedule.  Thus, though SNL’s performing troupe is named the “Not Ready for Prime-Time Players,” they have nevertheless been seen in prime time recently on various specials and clip shows. 

Unfortunately, part of the reason the players are “not ready for prime time” is the fact that they aren’t appropriate for prime time – especially not on Sunday at 7:00 p.m.  For foul-language, drug references and explicit sexual content during the heart of Family Hour, the January 4^th special Saturday Night Live Sports Extra ‘09 has been named Worst TV Show of the Week.   

When parents sit down to watch television with their children at 7:00 p.m. ET/PT (only 6:00 p.m. in the Midwest!), they do not want to see a disclaimer reading: “The following program contains content that may be inappropriate for some viewers. Parental discretion advised.”  But in this case, the disclaimer was necessary and deserved. Within the first fifteen minutes of the show, Derek Jeter impaled a man with a bat while he hits foul balls into the studio audience; Chris Farley and Adam Sandler parodied beer commercials by frolicking poolside with Speedo-clad men in a homoerotic fantasy fueled by “Schmitt’s Gay Beer;” and Payton Manning played a pick-up game with kids that turned into an obscenity-laced lesson on street smarts.  When the kids can’t catch Manning’s high-velocity passes, he chides one of the adolescent boys:  “Okay, I’m sorry.  Do you want to lose?  I throw, you catch.  It’s not that hard, okay?  Now get the [bleeped ‘f***’] outta here.”  While Manning relaxes on the sidelines with a bottle of beer, he explains street ethics to the impressionable youth:  “I'll kill a snitch.  I'm not saying I have, I'm not saying I haven't.  You know what I mean.  Whatever.  You kids don't know [bleeped ‘s***’].”  Later, Manning teased the kids:

Peyton:  “You kids all want to come live with me in my mansion?” 

Kids:  “Yeah!” 

Peyton:  “Calm down, calm down, I'm just [bleeped ‘f***ing’] with you.” 

In another sketch, Derek Jeter is dressed as a woman and commiserates with other baseball wives about the size of the bulge in Tito Martinez’s crotch.  Over at the Weekend Update desk, Seth Myers and Amy Poehler discussed Michael Vick’s arrest at a Miami airport for marijuana possession.  Amy rhetorically asks Vick, “And it never occurred to you to put it in a ziplock bag and sink to the bottom of a shampoo bottle in your checked luggage like we all do?  Really?!” 

In a Sportscenter parody Ray Romano played an inept sportscaster who, upon seeing Anna Kournikova, comments, “She’s hot.  I don’t know about you but my peeny just went” (makes an up motion).  When his fellow sportscaster expels him from the set, Romano proclaims, “Like Pappy Johnson with an erection, I will be back!”

Lastly, in a mock corporate video about sexual harassment, Tom Brady played an attractive male co-worker to whom females in the office allow great leeway when it comes to his advances.  After asking one female co-worker out to lunch, he gropes one of her breasts (to her apparent delight) as he leaves. 

These sketches are entirely appropriate during SNL’s regular broadcast time of 11:30 p.m.  But since NBC feels it can pad its prime-time schedule with content unsuitable for the Family Hour, Saturday Night Live Sports Extra ‘09 has been named Worst TV Show of the Week.