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Worst TV Show of the Week

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Family Guy on Fox


Normally, broadcast television pales in comparison to the indecent content that regularly airs on cable.  In fact, not a single broadcast network has ever rated one of their prime-time shows TV-MA, whereas virtually every prime-time show on certain cable networks are intended for mature audiences only.  The March 8th episode of Family Guy (Sundays, 9:00 p.m. ET) was as bad, if not worse, than some of the content on cable television, yet Fox rated it TV-14. This episode should have been rated TV-MA – or not aired at all. Since Fox has decided that sexually explicit dialogue about glory holes and a buttock-licking scene that verged on bestiality are appropriate fare for fourteen-year olds to watch, Family Guy, therefore, rightfully deserves to be been named Worst TV Show of the Week.


The Griffin household receives a requisite dose of idiocy when Peter buys a brain-damaged horse.  Late one evening, the horse exits the bathroom and ambles over to Peter and Lois, who are asleep on the bed.  The horse starts licking Peter’s bare buttocks and elicits some moans of pleasure from Peter: “Mmm, what made you come around, Lois? (more licking, moaning) I love you so much.  I love you so much, Lois.”  Lois awakens and replies, “I love you too, Peter.”   Then one morning, Lois discovers that the refrigerator is completely filled with bottles of milk.  Peter explains, “Oh, thanks for reminding me.  Everyone, some of the milk in the fridge is not milk.  It's horse sperm.  I'm a horse breeder now.”  Stewie hesitates when he lifts a spoonful of cereal to his mouth, but continues to eat anyway.  In order to drum up business for his horse-breeding business, Peter enters the animal in a horserace.  The horse goes berserk and crashes into the stands, murdering dozens of deaf children. The race announcer declares that the children are “signing frantically” in “dread and terror.”


Peter finds himself buried in debt from the damages caused by the horse, so he decides to earn some extra cash by putting his body up for medical experiments.  Subsequently, he is injected with “the gay gene.”  The show trots out the standard, limp-wristed, swishy gay stereotypes.  But it also bombards the audience with shockingly graphic sexual dialogue.  For example, when Peter’s son, Chris, complains that his math homework is too hard, Peter suggests, “Well, you know, it doesn't have to be.  One trick I used to use is turning things into a word problem.  For example, if there are three glory holes in the bathroom at the club and twenty-eight guys at the circuit party.  How many rotations of guys will it take before everybody's had a turn? … Nine with a remainder of Brent.”  Peter goes on to sing, “’Cause Brent can’t fit in the glory hole and that’s why we all like Brent.”


Eventually, Peter leaves his family for his new beau, Scott.  In an attempt to get the old Peter back, Stewie and Brian force Peter to attend Straight Camp – a Christian retreat designed to teach gay men how to be straight.  The camp director introduces the crowd of gay men to Harry the Homosexual, another flaming stereotype dressed in a tight pink T-shirt and cut-off jeans. “Harry's choice of lifestyle is wrong,” the director explains, “So we're gonna beat him up for it.  Now take these baseball bats and get to it.”  The campers each grab a bat and chase Harry off-camera.  The Camp Director barks out instructions, “All right, good so far.  No, no!  Don't use the bats like that.  No, no!  Don't use them like that either!    All right, just put them down and use your fists.  No, no!  Not like that.”


Scott, desperate to find Peter, comes to Lois for help.  When Brian confesses that he brought Peter to Straight Camp, Lois decides that she must accept Peter for who he is.  She rescues Peter from the camp and declares, “Peter there’s nothing I’d want more than to have you back.  But your place is in Scott now.  A person’s sexual identity is no more a choice than the color of his skin.  This is who you are.  I can’t change you.  And it would be wrong for me to try.”  Peter is ecstatic and gleefully returns to Scott’s apartment.  Scott welcomes him back with a surprise. 


“Remember how you told me your ultimate fantasy was to have an eleven-way?”  Scott asks.


“Oh, my god!” Peter coos.  “Yes, I do.  And you so did not even.”


“Oh, but I did.”  Scott calls out, “Yoo-hoo, guys.”


Nine men saunter into the living room wearing nothing but tight white underwear.  It is then revealed that the gay injection lasts for only two and a half weeks.  Meanwhile, Peter is in the bedroom with the other ten men.  “Oh, God,” Peter proclaims as the sounds of giggling and moaning are heard, “I feel like a kid in a candy store who's having sex with a bunch of gay guys…Wait a minute, what's going on here?  Holy crap!  Ahhh!!”  Peter runs out of the room naked, screaming in disgust.     


Besides reinforcing gay stereotypes while offering a lazy, preachy message of acceptance, the show exposes its young viewers to sexual activity that is beyond the pale of anything shown on network television.  The content it covers is more suited for adult websites, not the public airwaves at 8:00 p.m. in the Midwest on a Sunday night.  Would any parent willingly expose their fourteen-year-old to gay orgies, fisting, glory-holes, and bestiality?  Then why would Fox allow such filth to air without warning viewers that the content is intended for mature audiences only?  Rather than reining in Seth’s McFarlane’s perverted sense of humor, Fox is rewarding him for polluting the airwaves.  They’re giving him yet another show that will undoubtedly bombard young viewers with adult content. 


For a filthy, over-the-top parade of sexual perversion, Family Guy has been named Worst TV Show of the Week.

Worst TV Show of the Week

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