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Worst TV Show of the Week

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The Cleveland Show on Fox


While the nation celebrated the 4th of July, Fox re-aired an episode of The Cleveland Show (Sundays, 8:30 p.m. ET) that besmirched a different national holiday. The episode in question originally aired on November 22, 2009, and featured a truly revolting Thanksgiving dinner scene like no other. For graphic sexual content -- including the provocative use of a roast turkey -- the July 4th rerun of The Cleveland Show has rightfully earned the title of Worst TV Show of the Week.

Cleveland’s parents arrive to celebrate Thanksgiving with Donna’s family for the first time. But Cleveland’s philandering father, Freight Train, is interested in getting to know only one member of Donna’s extended family: Auntie Mama, Donna’s gregarious aunt, whose personality is as big as her waistline. Freight Train is immediately smitten by Auntie Mama, but unbeknownst to him, Auntie Mama is actually a man. When Cleveland discovers this fact, he decides not to tell Freight Train as payback for years of torment.

During a front yard football game, Freight Train and Auntie Mama flirt:

AUNTIE MAMA: “I’m kind of a ball hog. And I’m also a hole hog.”

FREIGHT TRAIN: “I don’t know about all that, but you can gargle my [bleeped ‘balls.’]”

They cut the game short to sneak off to the bedroom.

FREIGHT TRAIN: “Game’s over. I’m about to pull my groin…This Freight Train can’t wait to hook up with that caboose.”

AUNTIE MAMA: “All aboard!” [she releases flatulence, causing her skirt to flutter]

FREIGHT TRAIN: “I got a feeling sex is gonna be all sloppy with you.”

The rest of the family gathers around the dinner table, waiting for Freight Train and Auntie Mama to finally come back down. As they enter the dining room…

AUNTIE MAMA: “I hope y’all weren’t waiting for me. I was just upstairs lying down.”

FREIGHT TRAIN: “With your face in the pillow.”

Auntie Mama kisses and licks the turkey leg while she flirts with Freight Train. 

AUNTIE MAMA: “This turkey looks perfect. Smack myself in the face with it.”

While Cleveland vomits at the site of Auntie Mama’s phallic use of the drumstick,

Freight Train grabs the entire turkey and sticks his hand inside the cavity. 

FREIGHT TRAIN: “I'm gonna reach in there and get me some of that good stuffing. Look at that. Put my hand up in there. My whole arm. Now that's a mouthful.”

Cleveland vomits some more.

FREIGHT: “Looks like I lost my damn watch.”

AUNTIE MAMA: “I don’t think it's in the turkey. Gobble-gobble.”

Cleveland vomits all over the dinner table. Eventually, Cleveland informs Freight Train that Auntie Mama is really a man. Upon hearing the news, Freight Train projectile vomits onto the window pane.

CLEVELAND: “Said her real name is Kevin. Been hiding the candy for thirty-six years. You had sex with a man.”

With each sentence, Freight Train vomits more and more.

Thankfully, The Cleveland Show doesn’t air new episodes during the summer, so hopefully the 4th of July will mercifully be spared the indignity of MacFarlane’s brand of humor. In the meantime, The Cleveland Show has one again been named Worst TV Show of the Week for its sex-soaked, vomit-drenched, nausea-inducing Thanksgiving special.


Worst TV Show of the Week

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