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Worst TV Show of the Week Brought to you by the Parents Television Council	Share |
WARNING: Graphic Content!!! Do NOT push play if you don't want to see the explicit video!!!

Two and a Half Men on CBS

In response to parental concerns about being blindsided by erectile dysfunction commercials, the Parents Television Council established an initiative with the cooperation of drug manufacturers Eli Lilly & Co. and Pfizer to alert viewers about which broadcasts contain ads for Cialis or Viagra. While viewers now have a heads-up about ED ads, there is no telling when ED meds will figure into the programs themselves. And when they do, you can bet some inappropriate content is sure to follow.

The October 25^th episode of CBS’ Two and a Half Men (Mondays 9:00 p.m. ET) certainly didn’t hold back when it incorporated “boner pills” into the storyline. Forget about the euphemistic imagery of an older couple reclining in separate his/her bathtubs on a riverbank; this episode went there…over and over again. It contained explicit sexual content that earned it the title of Worst TV Show of the Week for the second straight week.

The episode begins with Alan stating that he plans to spend some “me time” over the weekend once he finds out that his son Jake will be at his mother’s house for a few days. Alan’s brother Charlie quickly discovers exactly what Alan meant by “me time,” when he barges into Alan’s room and finds him masturbating to internet porn. Alan, naked, scampers off the bed while his laptop sits open over the covers. Before Charlie leaves he tells Alan to check out “Malibu pudding girls.com”

Meanwhile, Charlie goes out on a date with a smart, attractive woman. But when he finds out that she’s four years older than he is, he balks. As Charlie opens the front door after his date, he finds Alan on the living room couch with his laptop and a box of tissues.

Charlie: "Ah, Alan, again?"

Alan: "It's not what it looks like."

Charlie: "Hey, I get it. You're bored, you're lonely, you can't afford a hooker. But come on. Keep it in your room."

Alan: "Ok, in my defense, I wasn't expecting you home until later.  It felt a little naughtier out here, in public."

Charlie: "You want naughty, go yank it on the pitchers mound at Dodgers stadium."

Alan: "Oh, clever, 7th inning stretch."

Charlie: "You realize that now I have to burn the couch."

Alan: "If you're going to do that, you might want to burn the deck chair, too."

Charlie: "Alan!"

Alan: "So how was your evening?"

Charlie: "Fine."

Alan: "I thought you were going to bring her back here."

Charlie: "And yet you were clanging your magic twanger in the living room!"

Alan convinces Charlie to give the older woman another try. Their quiet evening alone at her house is interrupted when her attractive 20-year-old daughter enters and mother and daughter have an argument. During the course of the exchange the following titillating information is revealed: a) the daughter is bi-sexual and ended her relationship to date her girlfriend’s male roommate; b) the daughter, girlfriend and roommate were having threesomes together; c) the daughter’s “job” consists of having a Paypal account and a webcam installed in her bathroom.

Charlie knows that at some point or another he’ll try to sleep with the daughter, so he decides to spare the older woman the inevitable pain and stops dating her. As Charlie pulls into the garage, he catches Alan with his pants down in his car. Once again Alan insists that he’s not doing what it looks like he’s doing. Charlie quips, “That’s a relief, because it looks like you were masturbating to Mariachi music in your car.” Alan blames “big pharma” for his compulsive masturbation:

Charlie: "Who the hell is big pharma?"

Alan: "You know. The phramaceutical companies that make boner pills that last 36 hours."

Charlie: "You took a boner pill?"

Alan: "I had to. The pills were about to expire."

Charlie: "But you didn't have a woman."

Alan: "Hence the constant masturbation. You know how expensive those things are. I'm simply trying to get my money's worth."

Charlie: "So this non-stop whack-a-thon is because you're cheap."

Alan: "And horny."

Eventually, Charlie sleeps with the older woman, but only after the daughter makes it abundantly clear that she finds older men disgusting. Charlie and the older woman are in bed when he receives a call from Alan, who was arrested for – what else? – masturbating in public.

Audiences appear to be growing weary of the sophomoric antics of Two and a Half Men, as its ratings have slipped to their lowest levels, which debunks Chuck Lorre’s theory that the show’s ratings improve whenever PTC condemns the show (see last week’s column). Or maybe something else is at play here. Perhaps there is a certain threshold where audience members no longer find the puerile, shallow, and deeply-flawed Charlie character funny anymore. At a certain point, he just comes off as sad and pathetic. One would hope that a man in his forties would have matured somewhat by now. But Charlie is emotionally stagnant. The show has painted him into a lonely corner, relying so extensively on blue humor in lieu of any authentic relationships, and reveling in his flaws instead of dealing with them with any pathos. As the series plods on, hopefully Charlie and Alan will tackle more dysfunctions besides the erectile kind. It would be nice to see them grow for a change (no pun intended). Otherwise, more viewers will opt to turn away from watching characters get older, but not any wiser.

For strong sexual content, Two and a Half Men rightfully deserves the title of Worst TV Show of the Week.