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Worst TV Show of the Week Brought to you by the Parents Television Council	Share |
WARNING: Graphic Content!!! Do NOT push play if you don't want to see the explicit video!!!

CSI: Miami on CBS

Prime-time television can be treacherous for families in search of wholesome fare. The networks certainly do not make it easier when they juggle the schedule and fill Family Hour timeslots with edgier shows normally reserved for later in the evening. Unfortunately, that is exactly what CBS did on Sunday night, January 2^nd. Normally on Sundays at 8:00 p.m. ET, families can tune in to fairly benign shows like The Amazing Race or Survivor. But on the night in question, a new episode of CSI: Miami aired – one that featured a heinous alligator attack and a tawdry sub-plot involving high-priced call girls. Oddly, the show was followed by a new episode of Undercover Boss, a perfectly family-friendly show. For its odd placement in the prime-time schedule given its brutally graphic content and frank sexuality, CSI: Miami rightfully deserves the title of Worst TV Show of the Week.

The episode begins with a man talking on his cell phone while he enters his backyard pool. Unbeknownst to him, an alligator lurks in the depths. He is quickly devoured by the ‘gator as the man’s blood and guts literally chum the water. The woman on the other end of the line hears the man’s screams and desperately calls the police. Horatio and Wolf arrive on the scene (apparently they answer 911 calls now, too – those crime lab cops are everywhere) and follow the blood trail to the gator, where they also find hunks of raw beef that someone evidently used to lure it into the pool.  

The CSI team plucks the man’s dismembered foot from the water, along with scraps of rent flesh. Later, the coroner finds what’s left of the man’s arm in the gator’s stomach. Ghastly close-up shots of it are shown.

It is revealed that the man was a wealthy entrepreneur who utilized a match-making service to connect him with local women. One woman, in particular, left her “female biologicals” on the bed sheets, which allowed the CSI team to identify her. Quick flashes of a sex scene are interspersed during the investigation. The detectives track the GPS locator of her car to an exclusive “match making” party that turns out to be a front for a high-priced prostitution ring. Horatio sends one of his men to pose as an interested bachelor. Eventually, the female suspect offers him sex for money.

The episode was rated TV14-DLSV (for risqué dialogue, harsh language, sexual situations, and graphic violence). The feel-good hit, Undercover Boss (rated TV PG) immediately followed this troublesome CSI: Miami episode. Unfortunately, networks routinely air more mature content to fill gaps in the early prime-time line-up normally reserved for Family Hour – a practice many families might find frustrating. In CBS’s case, their curious programming choice on January 2nd gave new meaning to the phrase, “See ya later, alligator.”