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Worst TV Show of the Week

CSI on CBS

Lady Heather is back! The dominatrix-turned-sex therapist returned for the April 7^th episode of CSI (Thursday, 9 p.m.). And fans of the show know that when Lady Heather shows up, some pretty kinky stuff is sure to follow. Though her most recent appearance wasn’t as perverted as years past, it was still deviant enough to warrant the episode the title of Worst TV Show of the Week.

The episode begins with the discovery of a young woman, clad in a leotard, who had been mauled by a mountain lion. But bruises about her face, wrists, and ankles suggest she was held captive and beaten. She is identified as Iona Vail, a former social worker at a battered woman’s shelter who sought psychological counseling from Lady Heather. During therapeutic role-playing, Iona imagined herself as a cat to cope with childhood trauma. Iona, however, only sunk deeper into her fantasy.

Evidence found at the scene leads the investigative team to the mansion of a dentist who specializes in feline dental implants for humans with cat fetishes. Langston and Sidle arrive just in time to witness what can only be described as a cat-orgy. Women in skin-tight cat suits crawl on the floor and luxuriate on the sofa as men pet them. They writhe on the floor seductively, bound at the wrists by restraints that prevent them from walking. Iona had been living in this “gilded cage” for six weeks. Kessler explains to Langston that the relationship between Iona and the dentist is similar to that of a dominant and a submissive. In the end, a fingerprint left on Iona’s catsuit leads back to Iona’s co-worker who admits that she tried to rescue Iona from her delusion and accidentally killed her when Iona tried to run away.

The episode concludes with Langston meeting with Lady Heather to discuss his ongoing trauma which he suffered after escaped serial killer, Nate Haskell, stabbed him at the end of last season. Thus, it would appear, viewers might get to see a bit more of Lady Heather.

CSI and other crime shows like it, such as Law & Order: SVU, have probably exposed more Americans to sexual fetishes than any sex study Alfred Kinsey as ever conducted. What’s most troubling, however, is the link these shows make with sexual titillation and violence, appealing to our basest instincts.

For once again reveling in the curious and troubling intersection of sexuality and brutality, CSI has been named Worst TV Show of the Week.