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Worst TV Show of the Week Brought to you by the Parents Television Council	Share |
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Worst TV Show of the Week

American Dad on Fox

It’s been nearly 30 years since E.T.: The Extra-Terrestrial came out. Since then the premise of humans adopting a wayward alien has been borrowed many times, usually for comic effect. Most recently in the movie Paul, the titular alien was portrayed as a pot-smoking, cargo-shorts-wearing slacker. On television, outlandish alien adoptees are nothing new (think Mork from Ork, Alf). But in terms of sheer filthiness, Roger – the drug-addled, gender-bending, unscrupulous alien on American Dad – is light-years ahead of the pack. On the April 17^th episode, he outdoes himself with a storyline so raunchy it obviously deserved the title of Worst TV Show of the Week.

Steve’s friend, Snot, is heartbroken over Haley’s recent marriage to Jeff. In order to shake him out of his funk, Steve encourages Roger to swap his current persona as an office worker who uses a squeezable stress ball to manage his stress for a new persona as a teenage girl who flirts with Snot to boost his confidence.

Roger, however, delves too deeply into his character – Jenny Fromdabloc, Steve’s cousin from Jersey. After his first date with Jenny, Snot brags to Steve and his friends: “Oh, Steve, we went to Taco King and then we rode the Ferris Wheel and then we went to the beach and stayed up all night talking about our hopes and dreams. Then I ___ [bleeped 'fucked'] her. I finally did it, man. I'm not a virgin anymore.”

Shocked and horrified, Steve confronts Roger.

Steve: You slut!

Roger: I have to say it was relaxing being an innocent young girl for a change.

Steve: Innocent! You did it with Snot on the beach.

Roger: Yeah, I did. Got sand all up in my Jenny dress, not to mention my gopher hole. Op! I mentioned it.

Steve: You're an alien, how is even physically possible?

Roger: Well, Steve, just because I don't have your traditional human genitalia --

Steve plugs his ears.

Snot instantly ascends to the alpha position among his group of nerdy friends, the rest still lowly virgins. Steve, frustrated by his demotion, orders Roger to stop the charade. When Roger comes home late one night, Steve accosts him:

Steve: Do you know what time it is?

Roger: Nope, we were having sex in the park and I totally lost track. I must have been making weird noises because a bunch of cats wouldn't leave us alone. I had to throw a couple of cats.

Steve: Roger, you have to stop this.

Roger: I see what’s really going on here. You can’t stand the fact that Snot’s cool now and you’re no longer king of the nerds.

Steve: That’s ridiculous. I mean, sure there’s been an established hierarchy but –

Roger takes the stress ball out of his crotch and places it into the dishwasher.

Steve: What? What is that?

Roger: Oh, this? My stress-ball.

Steve; But there’s a crack in it.

Roger: Uh-huh.

Steve: Oh my god, that's how you and Snot have been--

Roger: Relieving stress because this is a stress ball. And trust me; Snot's been relieving a lot of stress into this thing.

Eventually, Steve informs Snot that Jenny has been lying to him and that he’s been making love to a stress ball all this time. Snot is still a virgin.

Admittedly, even E.T. did a little cross-dressing in the Spielberg classic. Remember the blonde wig and ermine he donned? E.T., however, definitely did not seduce one of Eliot’s friends and fashion a vagina out of a toy in order to fake sex. E.T. and Roger also differ in one import respect. The former taught us a few things about humanity, while the latter specializes in profanity. Either way, it’ll be quite some time before we see anything quite as memorable as them in entertainment.

For close encounters of the lewd kind, American Dad has been named Worst TV Show of the Week.