It’s been nearly 30 years since E.T.: The Extra-Terrestrial came out.
Since then the premise of humans adopting a wayward alien has been borrowed many
times, usually for comic effect. Most recently in the movie Paul, the
titular alien was portrayed as a pot-smoking, cargo-shorts-wearing slacker. On
television, outlandish alien adoptees are nothing new (think Mork from Ork,
Alf). But in terms of sheer filthiness, Roger – the drug-addled, gender-bending,
unscrupulous alien on American Dad – is light-years ahead of the pack. On
the April 17th episode, he outdoes himself with a storyline so
raunchy it obviously deserved the title of Worst TV Show of the Week.
Steve’s friend, Snot, is heartbroken over Haley’s recent marriage to Jeff. In
order to shake him out of his funk, Steve encourages Roger to swap his current
persona as an office worker who uses a squeezable stress ball to manage his
stress for a new persona as a teenage girl who flirts with Snot to boost his
Roger, however, delves too deeply into his character – Jenny Fromdabloc, Steve’s
cousin from Jersey. After his first date with Jenny, Snot brags to Steve and his
friends: “Oh, Steve, we went to Taco King and then we rode the Ferris Wheel and
then we went to the beach and stayed up all night talking about our hopes and
dreams. Then I ___ [bleeped 'fucked'] her. I finally did it, man. I'm not a virgin
Shocked and horrified, Steve confronts Roger.
Steve: You slut!
Roger: I have to say it
was relaxing being an innocent young girl for a change.
Steve: Innocent! You did
it with Snot on the beach.
Roger: Yeah, I did. Got
sand all up in my Jenny dress, not to mention my gopher hole. Op! I mentioned
Steve: You're an alien,
how is even physically possible?
Roger: Well, Steve, just
because I don't have your traditional human genitalia --
Steve plugs his ears.
Snot instantly ascends to the alpha position among his group of nerdy friends,
the rest still lowly virgins. Steve, frustrated by his demotion, orders Roger to
stop the charade. When Roger comes home late one night, Steve accosts him:
Steve: Do you know what
time it is?
Roger: Nope, we were
having sex in the park and I totally lost track. I must have been making weird
noises because a bunch of cats wouldn't leave us alone. I had to throw a couple
Steve: Roger, you have to
Roger: I see what’s really
going on here. You can’t stand the fact that Snot’s cool now and you’re no
longer king of the nerds.
Steve: That’s ridiculous.
I mean, sure there’s been an established hierarchy but –
Roger takes the stress
ball out of his crotch and places it into the dishwasher.
Steve: What? What is that?
Roger: Oh, this? My
Steve; But there’s a crack
Steve: Oh my god, that's
how you and Snot have been--
Roger: Relieving stress
because this is a stress ball. And trust me; Snot's been relieving a lot of
stress into this thing.
Eventually, Steve informs Snot that Jenny has been lying to him and that he’s
been making love to a stress ball all this time. Snot is still a virgin.
Admittedly, even E.T. did a little cross-dressing in the Spielberg classic.
Remember the blonde wig and ermine he donned? E.T., however, definitely did not
seduce one of Eliot’s friends and fashion a vagina out of a toy in order to fake
sex. E.T. and Roger also differ in one import respect. The former taught us a
few things about humanity, while the latter specializes in profanity. Either
way, it’ll be quite some time before we see anything quite as memorable as them
For close encounters of the lewd kind, American Dadhas been named
Worst TV Show of the Week.
Parents Television Council,
Clean Up TV Now, Because our children are watching, The
nation's most influential advocacy organization, Protecting
children against sex, violence and profanity in
entertainment, Parents Television Council Seal of Approval,
and Family Guide to Prime Time Television
are trademarks of the Parents Television Council.