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Worst TV Show of the Week

Hell’s Kitchen on Fox

During the July 25^th episode of the repugnant cooking show, Hell’s Kitchen, the announcer stated – without a hint of irony - that the most popular night at the restaurant is family night. While families might enjoy eating together at the restaurant-cum-television studio, they certainly can’t watch the show together, because it is a veritable buffet of profanity -- an all-you-can-eat smorgasbord of vulgarity. And, in this instance, it is also rightfully deemed the Worst TV Show of the Week.

In wee hours of the morning, a group of exuberant clowns woke up the bleary-eyed chef-testants. Naturally, they were none too happy to see them. Will, a burly chef from New Jersey, warned one of the clowns, “Get the ___ (bleeped f***) away from me, ___ (bleeped c***). Before I ___ (bleeped f******) knock your ___ (bleeped s***) out. Get the ___ (bleeped f***) out of here.”  

For the episode’s opening challenge, the contestants had to feed a dining room full of children and their mothers. As with every segment of the show, this task eventually devolved into a shouting match with explicit barbs being thrown across the room like fish at Seattle’s Pike Place Market. In one heated exchange, Gordon chastises Jamie for burning a child’s quesadilla:

Gordon: “Stop sulking like a ___ (bleeped f******) baby. The babies are out there, not in here.”

Jamie: “(Bleeped f***)!”

Meanwhile, Elise complains about her inept teammate, Carrie:

Elise: “She's not (bleeped f******) listening.”

Carrie: “I'm trying to get this  (bleeped s***) done.”  

Mothers in the dining room are shown covering the ears of toddlers to shield them from the abusive language emanating from the kitchen.

Later, during dinner service, the dining room is once again filled with children and their parents. When Tommy overcooks the fried chicken tenders, Gordon’s anger boils over:

Paul: “Are they burnt? (Bleeped f***)!”

Tommy: “You think they're burnt?”

Will: “You wanna serve it, bro? You (bleeped f******) bring it to him.”

Tommy decides to roll the dice and serve the chicken.

Gordon: “They're overcooked and they're ___ (bleeped f******) dry. Tommy, c'mere. I know they're children, right? I got four of my own. Would you serve them that (bleeped s***)? What is that? It's a  (bleeped f******) baby's flip flop. Oh, piss off will ya?”

But ultimately, it was the opposing team of female contestants that finally sends Gordon over the edge with Carrie’s raw lamb chops.

Gordon: “Look at this. Ah, (bleeped f***) me. It's raw...All of you c'mere. Look at the (bleeped f******) state of this. Why are you doing this to me?...It's not even hot, it's raw. Raw. (Bleeped)...Gina, please. Take this useless brigade around every  (bleeped f******) table and I want a sincere apology on the back of your crap performance. Piss off. Every one of them!  (Bleeped f***”

After the contestants paraded around the dining and apologized to each table, Gordon shut the team’s kitchen down.

Gordon: “Get out of here all of you and hang your heads in shame. Because you absolutely suck. Piss off. Embarrassing. And on family night. You certainly don’t care about the children.”

A child in the dining room mimicked a British accent and impersonated one of Gordon’s famous taglines: “Shut it down!” Let’s hope that’s the only line that kid knows from the show -- because otherwise, his potty-mouth could land him in some hot water.

For explicit language, Hell’s Kitchen has been named Worst TV Show of the Week.