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Worst TV Show of the Week

Bachelor Pad on ABC

Bachelor Pad is back for another season of sophomoric challenges, backstabbing, and (real and manufactured) hook-ups. For crass sexual content, ABC’s Bachelor Pad (Mondays, 8:00 p.m. ET) as earned the title of Worst TV Show of the Week.

The program’s format is the same as in the first season: assemble former contestants of The Bachelor and The Bachelorette under one roof, add booze and the promise of $250,000, and let the sparks fly. This time, though, the drama is heightened by the presence of former Bachelor Jake [Pavelka] and his ex-fiancee, Vienna, who is currently dating Bachelorette-reject Kasey, but not before she slept with Gia’s ex-boyfriend, Wes, for whom Gia had dumped her boyfriend after falling for Wes during last season of Bachelor Pad. Confused? Suffice it to say, losing on The Bachelor/Bachelorette doesn’t mean the end of your reality-show career – as long as you keep sleeping with everybody else that was on the show.

For their first immunity challenge, the contestants assemble in the courtyard and see nine beds beneath a set of nine harnesses suspended in mid-air. “It's a sex challenge!” one of the guys blurts out. Well, no; even though the challenge is called “Hook Up,” it isn’t actually a sex challenge…but the producers do everything they can to make it look like it is. And much like last season, the women must perform every challenge wearing as little clothing as possible. In this case, the men are strapped to the harnesses and hang ten feet above the ground horizontally, face-down, while the bikini-clad women wrap their arms and legs around them and hang-on for dear life. The last couple to remain suspended wins. “What if somebody here gets an erection?” one of the guys muses as they dangle there like piñatas. Over the course of the challenge, the couples drop out one by one, but not before plenty of gratuitous overhead crotch shots.

Jake wins the challenge and inexplicably gives a rose to Vienna, saving her from elimination. After an awkward conversation between Jake, Vienna, and Kasey, the stressed-out couple reaffirms their relationship by sneaking off to a private room that isn’t so private. The grainy, night-vision footage from a hidden camera shows Vienna stripping off her clothes (a black bar censors her nudity). She slips underneath the covers and begins making out with Jake. She piles up the pillows in a vain attempt to hide them as they apparently have sex while the cameras roll.

Last season it took a few episodes before the contestants had sex (implied or otherwise). This season, however, the shenanigans started right out of the gate.

This is going to be a long summer.

For overt (and covert) sexual content, Bachelor Pad has earned the title of Worst TV Show of the Week.