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Worst TV Show of the Week

Friends with Benefits on NBC

As the new fall television season approaches, a preview of NBC’s upcoming sitcoms reveals its strategy for crawling out of fourth place: sex, sex, and more sex. Whitney – produced by and starring raunchy female comic Whitney Cummings, a staple of Comedy Central’s roasts – asserts the futility of marriage and the boredom of monogamy. The show Free Agents pairs a newly-divorced man with his newly-widowed female co-worker for obligation-free, clandestine sex. Over on the dramatic side of programming, the new show The Playboy Club instantly courts controversy with its name alone.

The problem is, NBC has attempted this strategy before. Currently, it is burning off one doomed sex-soaked comedy after another. First, there was Love Bites, which bit the dust earlier this summer. And now Friends with Benefits (Fridays, 9:00 p.m. ET) continues its sad march to an early grave in the timeslot of the doomed on Friday nights. For shows that are so obsessed with sex, you’d think they would have worried more about their staying power. Instead, their sole concern seems to be coming up with novel sexual scenarios in lieu of authentic human relationships.

The September 9^th episode focused on Sara’s new boyfriend, Austin, who is taking anti-depressants that make it difficult for him to achieve an orgasm. Meanwhile, recreational sex enthusiast Fitz is determined to climb to the top of the “Most Do-able Bachelors” list. Needless to say, Worst TV Show of the Week honors go to this show for all the sex it so desperately thinks people want to watch.

In the most salacious scene, Sara is in the midst of a two-hour love-making session with Austin. She tells her best friend (and, of course, former casual sex partner) Ben, that her mind started wandering after 45 minutes. “Who else in Chicago is having sex right now?...And are they taking this long?...And then I really started to hate those people…Those lucky post-orgasmic bastards…And then the chafing started.” While her voice-over plays, we see images of various couples having sex - young and old, gay and straight, indoor and outdoor. Later, Sara and Austin try role-playing games, where she pretends to be a naughty schoolteacher. But, yet again, the climax eludes him. Finally, they resolve to simply take breaks after an hour and let the moment happen naturally, and – voila – orgasm achieved.

Meanwhile, Fitz sleeps with the sex blogger who compiled the list of best sex partners in a bid to improve his rank.

Fitz:  “So Corinne, just wondering if you were planning on doing any blogging, cuz after last night, I'm no longer ninth on your list.”

Corinne:  “Yep, I'll move you up to eighth.” 

Fitz:  “Eighth?  That's it?” 

Corinne:  “You moved up a slot.  You should be proud.  There's a lot of competition out there.” 

Fitz:  “What's a guy gotta do to get to number one?”

Corinne: “Me. Better.”

“Number one” on the list is an average-looking, unassuming guy whom Riley – the other female cast member – stalks in order to see if he’s really that good in bed. After sleeping with the guy, Riley divulges his lovemaking techniques to Fitz, who uses them to climb to the top spot.

The show’s writers seem to assume this casual, light-hearted portrayal of sex as sport will garner laughs. But empty, meaningless sex between empty, meaningless characters in empty, meaningless relationships render the show – you guessed it – empty and meaningless. Sadly, NBC appears to be heading down the same road.

For explicit sexual content, Friends with Benefits has been named Worst TV Show of the Week.