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Worst TV Show of the Week

2 Broke Girls on CBS

Throughout the summer, TV viewers were deluged with ads proclaiming that the new fall sitcom 2 Broke Girls was “from the creator of Sex and the City!” For full disclosure, these commercials could’ve added, “…and some female comedienne you’ve probably never heard of.” Nevertheless, the program is co-created by Michael Patrick King, who does indeed bring his Sex-slathered sensibility to the show. The problem is, this show is not on HBO, but is beamed over the publicly-owned airwaves into every living room in America, in the first hour of prime time…and is rated TV-14, to boot. For these reasons – and even more, its inferior comedic content -- the September 26^th episode of CBS’ 2 Broke Girls (Mondays, 8:30 p.m. ET) deserves recognition for being the Worst TV Show of the Week.  

The episode opens as waitress Max brings cashier Earl a newly-baked cupcake, telling him, “I’ve got something I want you to try.” “That’s the exact same sentence that got me hooked on cocaine in the ‘80s,” Earl responds. Because drug addiction is always a sure-fire laugh-getter, especially in Hollywood. Demonstrating immediately that neither sensitivity nor good taste can be expected from this program, Earl is played by Saturday Night Live alumnus Garrett Morris, who himself actually was addicted to cocaine in the early 1980s. In addition to forcing Morris to refer to a painful incident in his own past, this line plays on the stereotype of African-Americans as drug addicts. In the 1970s, Morris was frequently criticized for his roles on SNL by other African-Americans, who said that the program’s writing degraded both Morris and African-Americans generally. In 2011, 2 Broke Girls demonstrates that the TV networks have learned nothing in 35 years – except that they can now put such racist degradation on during the Family Hour, rather than at 11:30 p.m.

Max’s roommate and fellow waitress Caroline arrives, and Max berates her for being late. Max: “You can’t be late again. I’m already worried about me being late – EVERY MONTH!” See, Max is referring to her menstrual cycle, and implying that, though unmarried and not in a steady relationship, she might be pregnant. What could be more hilarious than a single, impoverished waitress being sexually promiscuous and finding herself with child? Thus, with one line of allegedly humorous dialogue, the show’s writers demonstrate their contempt for women, children, marriage, and responsibility simultaneously.

Nevertheless, uproarious laughter is heard in response to this lame quip. Those who own stock in whatever company manufactures TV laugh tracks are sure to become millionaires due to the workout the machine gets on this program alone.

But wait – there’s more! In addition to misogynistic sex “comedy,” the program also features clunky, leaden expository dialogue that would embarrass a first-year writing student. Here’s Caroline restating the program’s premise, for the benefit of those audience members who had the good taste to miss the first episode:

Caroline: “On my way here a homeless man asked me for money, and I told him that I usually always give, but that my father was indicted in a Ponzi scandal and I’ve lost my family fortune and my Manhattan townhouse, so I’ve been sleeping on a couch in Brooklyn, but in spite of it all I’m still optimistic that you and I will achieve success in our exciting new cupcake business venture.”

One wonders whether Caroline and/or Max will go through a similar recitation in every week’s episode. If so, June can’t come quickly enough.

Then it’s back to the cheap sex jokes, as Oleg the cook tells Max her order is ready: “Special sandwich. I can think of an even more special sandwich – you, me, and the hot blonde.” See, the word “sandwich” and the mention of the two women implies group sex – with all the subtlety and wit of a brick to the head. The laugh track goes wild.

The restaurant’s manager, Mr. Lee, enters with a nametag for Caroline, who notes that he misspelled her name. “You can’t tell an Asian he made a mistake. He’ll go on the back and throw himself on a sword,” Max sneers. The laugh track goes wild.

Having dispensed racism, drug references, and sleazy sex jokes in literally its first two minutes, the program plunges even more rapidly downhill. Offering her sympathy for Max (who broke up with her boyfriend Robby recently), Caroline says she heard Max crying in her bedroom. Max asks what the crying sounded like, and Caroline moans and whimpers orgasmically. Max says, “I wasn’t crying,” and Caroline begins, “Then what were you…OH!” See, Max was masturbating and moaned when she climaxed, and Caroline innocently assumed she was crying. Predictably, the laugh track goes wild.

Back at their apartment, Max bakes cupcakes. Caroline says that the oven is hot, and asks her to open the back door. Max replies, “We’ve known each other for two days, and already you’re asking for backdoor?” See, because “backdoor” is slang for anal sex. The laugh track goes wild.

Caroline’s pet horse Chestnut (don’t ask) wanders in from the back yard. Max objects to the smell. “That’s not Chestnut, that’s Brooklyn,” Caroline says. “I’m watching the champion drop some steaming hot Brooklyn right now,” Max sneers. Ah yes, poop jokes – beloved by second-graders (and apparently, professional comedy “writers”) everywhere. Naturally, the laugh track goes wild. Later, while dressed in her one good outfit, Caroline slips and falls in the manure, prompting Max to sneer, “Look – Chanel number two.” See, because “number two” is a slang reference to defecation. And a lame joke is always funnier the second time around…at least, according to the laugh track, which goes wild. 

Back at work, Caroline refers again to Max crying, to which Max snarls, “I was masturbating!” for the benefit of those viewers who didn’t understand this subtle, witty innuendo the first time it was used. Once again, the laugh track goes wild.  

2 Broke Girls other co-creator is raunchy stand-up comedienne Whitney Cummings (famed for her appearances on Comedy Central’s horrifically graphic “celebrity” roasts). It is all too obvious that the show’s writing is influenced by Cummings’ experiences in comedy clubs, where the slightest mention of anything sexual or excretory, no matter how puerile, is invariably greeted with gales of laughter from intoxicated patrons. Unfortunately for CBS, there is no two-drink minimum in TV viewers’ living rooms…though after sitting through 2 Broke Girls, most viewers are likely to go on a desperate search for something to dull their pain.

Predictably, critics have fawned over 2 Broke Girls, with TV Guide naming it one of “Fall’s Top Five Shows.” That so flabby an effort, with so tired a premise, and relying on drug humor, excrement jokes, and tedious sexual innuendo, should be so beloved by “critics” demonstrates only that they will like anything even marginally “shocking,” no matter how boring, crass, witless, and offensive it actually is.

TV viewers deserve something better than warmed-over sex and toilet humor. For failing to provide it, CBS’ 2 Broke Girls is the Worst TV Show of the Week .