What do you get when you cross Fox’s American Dad (Sundays 9:30 p.m.)
with Bridezilla and the graphic prison-drama Oz? You get the
thoroughly twisted American Dad episode from November 13th. To
give the reader a sense of the kind of alarming sexual content the show
depicted, here are two words describing the plot: “prison marriage.” Needless to
say, the lewd sexual situations on the show rightfully earned the show the title
of Worst TV Show of the Week.
In this episode, Stan is hell-bent on being a best man at someone – anyone’s –
wedding. But the only single male acquaintance he has left is the psychotic
principal of his son’s high school, Principal Brian Lewis. Stan manages to
convince Brian that he doesn’t want to die alone, prompting Lewis to propose to
his estranged girlfriend, Superintendant Ellen Riggs. But on the eve of the
wedding, Brian’s former cellmate in prison informs everyone that Brian is still
married to him – “prison married,” that is.
Ellen: “You're married?”
Tracy: “Mmm-hmm. To this b****.” [points to himself]
Lewis: “Ellen, I can
Tracy: “Explain how you're
gonna stand here in front of all these nice people and commit a sin like this? I
___ (bleeped f*****) you’re a**.”
Stan: “But how is this
Tracy: “Allow me to break
it down for you.”
Flashback to prison.
Lewis hits another inmate
over the head with a tray and bludgeons him off-camera.
Tracy: “According to
prison rules, I became Lewis' b**** after he beat up my previous husband. We
shared a home, a job [cut to the pair making license plates which together read:
That My B****], and some excellent toilet wine.”
Determined to see his dream of best-man-hood fulfilled, Stan brutally murders
Tracy, shooting him in the back, then running him over repeatedly with his car,
dumping the body into a swamp, where an alligator eats him -- only to be shot
immediately by Stan, who makes boots and purses out of the alligator. Yet, when
Stan drops by Brian’s home, he is shocked to find the pair lying on mattress on
a floor, sipping toilet wine.
Tracy: “Hello, white
Stan: “But I killed you.”
Tracy: “You can't kill
this love. What we got here is the eternal flame. The Bangles, biatch, circa
'87…This is prison marriage, b****. This is prison rules.” [Tracy barks.]
Stan: (thinking) “Hmm,
Tracy: “I love Brian
Lewis. My heart is his forever.”
Stan beats Brian up.
Tracy: “Where we going?
Our house to watch movies?”
Brian: “What's happening?”
Stan: “Since I beat you
up, Tracy becomes my b**** now.”
Meanwhile, Roger (the alien) begins wearing a magical pair of shorts that make
his legs look normal. Feeling and looking attractive, Roger indulges in Miami’s
gay nightlife where he meets Ricky Martin. They eventually end up making out on
Ricky Martin’s couch, but Roger is self-conscious about his legs.
Ricky: “If I'd known there
was someone as beautiful as you out there I would have come out so much sooner.
Take off your shorts, mi amor.”
Roger: “Uh, let's just
make out some more.”
Ricky: “But, Roger, it's
clearly time for butt play.”
Combining the lunacy of American Dad with the violence of Oz and
topping it off with a dash of Living Mi Vida Loca, is definitely a recipe
for disaster, especially for families hoping for something to watch together on
Sunday nights. But the combination of sex, violence and vulgar humor is a
surefire way to be named Worst TV Show of the Week.
Parents Television Council,
Clean Up TV Now, Because our children are watching, The
nation's most influential advocacy organization, Protecting
children against sex, violence and profanity in
entertainment, Parents Television Council Seal of Approval,
and Family Guide to Prime Time Television
are trademarks of the Parents Television Council.