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Worst TV Show of the Week

American Dad on Fox

What do you get when you cross Fox’s American Dad (Sundays 9:30 p.m.) with Bridezilla and the graphic prison-drama Oz? You get the thoroughly twisted American Dad episode from November 13^th. To give the reader a sense of the kind of alarming sexual content the show depicted, here are two words describing the plot: “prison marriage.” Needless to say, the lewd sexual situations on the show rightfully earned the show the title of Worst TV Show of the Week.

In this episode, Stan is hell-bent on being a best man at someone – anyone’s – wedding. But the only single male acquaintance he has left is the psychotic principal of his son’s high school, Principal Brian Lewis. Stan manages to convince Brian that he doesn’t want to die alone, prompting Lewis to propose to his estranged girlfriend, Superintendant Ellen Riggs. But on the eve of the wedding, Brian’s former cellmate in prison informs everyone that Brian is still married to him – “prison married,” that is.

Ellen: “You're married?”

Tracy: “Mmm-hmm. To this b****.” [points to himself]

Lewis: “Ellen, I can explain.”

Tracy: “Explain how you're gonna stand here in front of all these nice people and commit a sin like this? I ___ (bleeped f*****) you’re a**.”

Stan: “But how is this even possible?”

Tracy: “Allow me to break it down for you.”

Flashback to prison.

Lewis hits another inmate over the head with a tray and bludgeons him off-camera.

Tracy: “According to prison rules, I became Lewis' b**** after he beat up my previous husband. We shared a home, a job [cut to the pair making license plates which together read: That My B****], and some excellent toilet wine.”

Determined to see his dream of best-man-hood fulfilled, Stan brutally murders Tracy, shooting him in the back, then running him over repeatedly with his car, dumping the body into a swamp, where an alligator eats him -- only to be shot immediately by Stan, who makes boots and purses out of the alligator. Yet, when Stan drops by Brian’s home, he is shocked to find the pair lying on mattress on a floor, sipping toilet wine.

Tracy: “Hello, white cheese.”

Stan: “But I killed you.”

Tracy: “You can't kill this love. What we got here is the eternal flame. The Bangles, biatch, circa '87…This is prison marriage, b****. This is prison rules.” [Tracy barks.]

Stan: (thinking) “Hmm, prison rules.”

Tracy: “I love Brian Lewis. My heart is his forever.”

Stan beats Brian up.

Tracy: “Where we going? Our house to watch movies?”

Brian: “What's happening?”

Stan: “Since I beat you up, Tracy becomes my b**** now.”

Meanwhile, Roger (the alien) begins wearing a magical pair of shorts that make his legs look normal. Feeling and looking attractive, Roger indulges in Miami’s gay nightlife where he meets Ricky Martin. They eventually end up making out on Ricky Martin’s couch, but Roger is self-conscious about his legs.

Ricky: “If I'd known there was someone as beautiful as you out there I would have come out so much sooner. Take off your shorts, mi amor.”

Roger: “Uh, let's just make out some more.”

Ricky: “But, Roger, it's clearly time for butt play.”

Combining the lunacy of American Dad with the violence of Oz and topping it off with a dash of Living Mi Vida Loca, is definitely a recipe for disaster, especially for families hoping for something to watch together on Sunday nights. But the combination of sex, violence and vulgar humor is a surefire way to be named Worst TV Show of the Week.