The War at Home and The War on Fathers
10.07.05

At one time Fred Flintstone and Ralph Kramden were the "bad dads" on TV. Kramden continuously threatened to punch his wife Alice "to the moon" while Fred didn't know how to tell the truth and couldn't babysit better than my 10-year-old daughter (remember when Pebbles was sent to the laundry?).

Yet these big lugs were still portrayed as being lovable, and each episode ended with their silly wives agreeing to do it all again next week.

Odd, isn't it? With forty years of progress, decent dads are still a rare find on television--and their wives aren't any smarter either. And with the onset of the 2005 fall TV season, it looks like things won't get any better. Fox, the self-appointed leader in degrading dads, is once again pushing pop into bad behavior with its newest show The War At Home.

I caught one of the episodes the other night, and was astonished at how stupid and downright insulting a TV character can be, yet some network executive somewhere must be convinced audiences will find this entertaining.

The series centers on Dave, a Jewish father of three, who is upset with every aspect of his life. This week his concerns are about his daughter who is wanting to get more serious with her boyfriend--but Dave's biggest problem is the guy is an African-American. Once he discovers the boy's father is a doctor, and gets invited to his exclusive golf course, he decides that it's okay for his daughter to have sex with the young man. Later in the episode, the two kids break up, and Dave insinuates that his daughter should pretty much throw herself at the guy so he can maintain his relationship with the rich doctor.

In-between giving his daughter sad advice, he is confronted by his 13-year-old son who is having a problem due to very frequent masturbation. This secondary plotline threads throughout the show, and gets a hearty canned laugh near the end when Dave's wife discovers her husand provided a sexual lubricant to their son that is making him feel like "his penis is on fire."

Finally, an ongoing plot from the premiere season's first few episodes involves the father's concern that his 15-year-old son may be gay because he "sucks at sports" and is like "a special ed kid."

These earlier episodes have also featured dad (and mom in this case) enjoying marijuana and soliciting online sex. All this in only four weeks.

I'm guessing programs like these are supposed to be offering cynical examples of what not to do as a father, but is the target audience getting that message? Actor Michael Rapaport, who plays Dave on the show, says in an interview on the Fox website, that he likes the program's concept because it is "honest." (He also admits his own kids "drive him crazy." Nice...)

If these backward examples are truly working, America should have the best fathers in the world, because the TV dial (especially when it is tuned to Fox) is full of this jaded humor.

American Dad, an animated series on Fox, hits the airwaves with new episodes in November. The most recent episode I saw had a striking similarity to The War At Home, when this CIA Agent father was in distress because his son was a "geek." (It seems TV creators are convinced every father in America is concerned that if their son isn't reading porn magazines and playing sports, he must be gay.)

More dysfunctional dads of various flavors abound. Check out The Family Guy, another infamous animated show that was cancelled but brought back after it sold a surprising amount of DVDs. Or flip to a decade's worth of King of the Hill. And of course, there is always Homer Simpson. (Yup... Fox, Fox and Fox.)

For some reason, we continue to tolerate media that often portray fathers as being more useless than a hammer without a head. We've certainly also have had our fair share of incompetent females on TV and in movies, but I've noticed these female bubbleheads usually aren't playing a role of a parent.

The unfortunate truth is many children are not privy to real life examples of positive fathers. Instead, their primary teaching and role-modeling source may be the junk coming down the pipe and appearing on their TV. Many studies have confirmed that children--especially preteens--learn and adopt behavior they see in their home environment. We need to ensure we're not allowing them to learn what a father shouldn't be, one episode at a time.

Besides writing this column for the Parents Television Council, Rod Gustafson authors Parent Previews® - a newspaper and Internet column (published in association with movies.com) that reviews movies from a parent's perspective. He's also the film critic for a major Canadian TV station, various radio stations and serves on the executive of the Alberta Association for Media Awareness. Finally, his most important role is being the father to four wonderful children and husband to his beautiful wife (and co-worker) Donna.

Parenting and the Media by Rod Gustafson

The Parents Television Council - www.parentstv.org

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