WARNING: GRAPHIC CONTENT
The FX network’s Nip/Tuck
is now officially on its last legs. The program’s end was announced months ago,
and it is now in its final season of episodes. But even as the depraved drama
continues its interminable march to oblivion, it retains the power to disgust,
making the January 20th episode of Nip/Tuck (Wednesdays, 10:00
p.m. ET) the Worst Cable TV Show of the Week
While there are always
sidelines containing soap opera-ish elements on Nip/Tuck, the main point
of the show is apparently to slake creator Ryan Murphy’s unquenchable thirst for
ever-more bizarre forms of sexual expression. This past week, the show’s focus
was upon the practice of auto-erotic asphyxiation, in which an individual
strangles himself or his/her partner during sex.
Supposedly, depriving the
brain of oxygen heightens and intensifies orgasm. (It also originates from poor
judgment and ultimately causes brain damage. One must speculate whether the
“inspiration” for Nip/Tuck came at just such a moment?)
The seamy story begins when
patient Mr. Wise reveals his scarred neck, rhapsodizing about the joys of
strangling himself while masturbating:
Wise: “I wasn't trying to
commit suicide, I was masturbating. Auto-erotic asphyxiation gone awry.”
Christian: “You risk dying
for an orgasm?”
Wise: “It wasn't just an
orgasm. It was the orgasm of a lifetime! You have no idea…Cut off the flow of
blood and oxygen to the brain, your d*** gets unbelievably hard. It's why these
guys who are hung get these huge stonking boners and ejaculate when they die…You
get this euphoria. It's like you've got one foot in heaven.”
With his interest in every
deviant form of sex, Christian tries the practice. Attempting to stimulate their
sex life, Christian uses the asphyxiation technique with former porn star,
former lover, and current wife Kimber, nearly killing her. In a “moment of
clarity,” Christian kicks Kimber out of the house, claiming he is not good for
her. Failing to restart her affair with a fellow doctor, Kimber jumps into the
ocean and is presumed dead.
But naturally, the episode
would not be complete without a scene of Christian trying the technique himself.
Naked except for underwear, Christian is shown hanging a belt in the bathroom.
He hangs himself and masturbates, as the viewer hears his thoughts:
Christian: “That s***head
was right! Feels like an orgasm everywhere -- my feet, my shoulder. Oh God, I'm
Christian slips on the floor
and starts to choke to death.
Christian: “Oh s***, can't
move, can't breathe. Stand up and take the g****** belt off!”
Sadly, Christian manages to
keep from dying. If only this scene had been saved for the last episode of the
series! The sight of the repulsive, sex-crazed Christian literally killing
himself in his quest for twisted sex would almost have made it worth sitting
through the Worst Cable TV Show of the Week.
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