Blue
Mountain State
on Spike
Episode Summary
WARNING: GRAPHIC CONTENT
The January 27th
episode of Spike’s execrable sex-soaked football “comedy” Blue Mountain State
(Tuesdays, 10:00 p.m. ET) provides an ample demonstration of why the program is
again the Worst Cable TV Show of the Week.
During a football rivalry
weekend, quarterback Travis is suspended after being caught with a transvestite
prostitute named Stacy. This forces sex-crazed slacker Alex into the main QB
position, which he dreads. In an attempt to get Travis reinstated, Alex asks
Stacy to lie to police about “her” involvement. “She” agrees -- if Alex arranges
for “her” to perform oral sex on virginal star player Craig, leading to the
following scintillating dialogue:
Alex visits Stacy.
Stacy: ”25 for the hand, 50
for the mouth and 75 for the a**. If the a** doesn't interest you, I'm having a
sale on ski shoots, two for 80 dollars.”
Alex asks her to lie about
being with Travis. Stacy refuses.
Stacy: “I may suck c*** for
crack, but at the end of the day I lay in my bed right with God.
Alex says he will do
anything for her.
Stacy: You know Craig Shilo?
I want to suck his d***…I'm getting moist just thinking about it. If you could
help me get those b**** right here, I will help you.”
Alex tricks Craig into
Stacy’s apartment, where Craig sits on the couch. Stacy kneels before his crotch
and rips down his pants, but Craig can’t go through it and runs out of the room.
Alex offers a helpful suggestion: “How about going down on Craig's girlfriend?
That's close, right?” Ultimately, Travis is reinstated as QB -- but not Stacy
succeeds in performing oral sex on Craig, thus “saving” the big game.
Spike bills itself as “the
network for men;” and among a certain kind of man, there will always be stunted
intellects who enjoy this kind of “humor.” If it were being shown on a premium
cable channel like HBO, Showtime, or Playboy, they’d be welcome to it. But as
Spike is a basic cable network, women cable and satellite subscribers are forced
to subsidize this sexist smut with their monthly subscription fees…and so is
every cable viewer, no matter how offensive they may find the sleazy show.
For forcing men AND women to
pay for crude sex and toilet humor, Blue Mountain State is the
Worst Cable TV Show of the Week.
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