The Osbournes Episode Summaries
August 12, 2003
Summary:
In an odd turn, the episode appears to be scripted for drama. The episode has Sharon and Kelly threatening to break up their management deal and Jack claiming to have killed Mini in her sleep. At the end, a director yells cut and it is made to look like this episode was staged.
Content:
Language:
2 obscenities (bitch, hell)
53 bleeped words (sh*t, f*ck, unknown)
July 29, 2003
Summary:
Jack and Ozzy go on a deep sea fishing trip. Ozzy drinks a lot of beer and is kind of drunk and confused by the time it ends.
Content:
Language:
7 obscenities (hell, bitch, ass, piss)
69 bleeped words (sh*t, f*ck, asshole, unknown)
Sex:
Ozzy makes an unfunny joke about whether or not a fish masturbates but no one seems to get it.
July 22, 2003
Summary:
Jack meets visits Courtney Love and Kurt Cobain's younger sister. Ozzy writes a new song.
Content:
Language:
10 obscenities (hell, damn, ass)
29 bleeped words (sh*t, f*ck, tits, a few unidentified)
Sex:
17-year-old Jack visits Courtney love and she changes her shirt in front of him. She stands topless for a moment, with her breasts pixilated.
Later Courtney tells Jack she needs to wear a bra because her [bleeped "tit"] is falling out.
July 1, 2003
Summary:
Ozzy and Sharon go to Hawaii and leave the kids home alone. Jack has a wild party, Kelly gets angry at him and the two get into a fight.
Content:
Language:
9 obscenities (bitch, ass, piss, douche bag, damn)
125 bleeped words (sh*t, f*ck, a few unidentified)
1 blurred middle finger
Sex:
During the party, Jack pulls a guy's pants down to his ankles. The guy's exposed (pixilated) buttocks shown.
A girl at the party is wearing a white tee-shirt, which is wet from swimming. Her breast area is pixilated because the tee shirt was so transparent.
Violence:
Kelly punches Jack in the face. He tries to choke her and hold her down on the ground until the nanny and security guard pull them apart.
Family Relations/Authority Figures:
Jack, 17 and Kelly, 18 throw a party where there is alcohol and underage drinking. On more than one occasion Kelly mentions that Jack is drunk. Jack is also heard on the phone inviting people over to get drunk at his party.
Jack tells the nanny, Melinda to "f*ck off", to shut up, and that her "head is so far up her ass."
Sharon tells Kelly that Jack probably deserved to be hit, and the two laugh about a time when Sharon threw a glass ashtray at someone and how that is where Kelly learns to be violent when she's upset. They also joke about how Jack tried to choke Kelly, and how that runs in the family because Ozzy has tried to strangle Sharon in the past, too.
June 24, 2003 Episode
Summary:
Ozzy celebrates his 54th birthday by running five miles with his personal trainer and having a small family party.
Content:
Language:
6 obscenities (crap, ass, piss)
29 bleeped words (sh*t, f*ck)
Note: This episode was very clean except language, as it focused almost entirely on Ozzy's jogging hobby.
June 17, 2003 Episode
Summary:
Kelly wants to get her nose pierced. The family has a problem with fleas from all their pets.
Content:
Language:
11 obscenities (damn, hell, bitch, ass, piss)
45 bleeped words (God in God damn, shit, f*ck)
Disrespectful scenes:
Kelly and Sharon talk about Kelly wanting to go to Philadelphia. Sharon is concerned about Kelly traveling alone and says so. Kelly throws a fit and repeatedly says "f*ck you" and "Get your head out of your ass, you f*cking evil woman" to her mother.
Sharon is talking to Kelly while she packs for her trip. Kelly keeps yelling at Sharon to stop digging through her "shit" and accuses her mother of trying to steal her stuff.
June 10, 2003 Episode ( Season 3 Premiere)
Summary:
Ozzy goes to the dentist. The family helps Jack celebrate his 17th birthday.
Content:
Language:
11 obscenities
38 bleeped words
Kelly flips her middle finger at the knights performing at medieval times. Her hand is pixilated.
Sex:
Sharon's pants fall down and at another point her shirt is somewhat see-through. Both times her private areas are pixilated.