December 12, 2006 10:00 pm EST

"Gala Gallardo"

SEASON FINALE

Drug kingpin Escobar Gallardo reappears and abducts Sean and Christian and demands that they reconstruct the breasts of his wife Gala, who was tortured by Escobar's enemies. When they refuse Escobar bargains with Michelle, telling her that he will forgive her debt and release her from stealing organs if she persuades Christian to perform the surgery. Michelle decides to do the surgery herself; but Christian, suspicious that Michelle is concealing something from him, intervenes. He learns that Michelle and Escobar were responsible for the theft of Liz's kidney. Sean and Christian perform the surgery. Liz, enraged at Escobar for his part in her kidney theft, threatens to kill Escobar. Gala persuades her not to, but all are shocked when Gala kills Escobar herself. Sean, Christian and Liz must dispose of Escobar's body. Ironically, they do so the same way they disposed of the body of Escobar's henchman, and which involved him with them to begin with -- they tie hams to Escobar's body and dump it in a swamp, where alligators devour it.

Sean asks Christian and Michelle to buy him out. He gives a share of the money to Matt and Kimber for their baby. Matt confides to Sean that he knows that Kimber still loves Christian, and only married him to get revenge. Sean confronts Kimber, who says she is trying to learn to love Matt.

Sean moves to Los Angeles, while Christian renames the business and prepares for married life. However, neither are satisfied. Christian appears at Sean's new workplace and tells him that he broke up with Michelle and has also moved to Los Angeles. Sean and Christian decide to open a new practice together in Hollywood.

Language:

• The word "hell" was used seven times in this episode. "Shit" was used six times. "Jesus/Christ" was used profanely four times. "Asshole/ass" was used three times. "Goddamn," "bitch" and "tits" were each used twice apiece. Several other words, such as "boob" and "dick," were each used once.

• Gallardo has kidnapped Sean and Christian and forces them to consult with his wife Gala.

   

  Christian: "This is bullshit."

   

  Escobar: "You're embarrassing me."

   

  Christian: "I don't give two shits about what I'm doing. You wanna give your wife a free boob job?"

   

  Gala states that she needs reconstructive surgery. Gala opens her shirt, displaying her breasts. Both have huge livid areas of scar tissue covering their front.

   

  Escobar: "You know, every night in prison I closed my eyes and I dreamed of my bride's perfect sweater puppies. Now look at them. I will not return home, to our family, to our lives, until they're perfect again."

   

  Christian: "I understand you've been through a lot, Mrs. Gallardo. But the last time I took a briefcase full of cash from your husband, I got a Botox shot in the dick."

• Christian rages at Michelle, demanding to know how she knows Escobar.

Christian: "Tell me the goddamn truth! ...Everything you say is a goddamn lie! Why did he come to you?"

Michelle reveals that her pimp James worked for him.

Christian: "Prostitution? That's bullshit! He stuffs his bitches' tits full of heroin! They're worth more to him as mules than they are whores!"

Violence:

• Sean operates. A naked breast (but no nipple) is seen as Sean slits it open with a scalpel. Blood runs out. The bloody breast and incision are repeatedly shown as Sean probes at them with scalpels, tweezers, scissors and other implements. The implant is explicitly shown being pushed in through the incision into the breast.

• Sean and Christian operate on Gala. Close-ups show their tweezers and scalpels probing and cutting Gala's naked, gory breast wounds, suturing new flesh over the wounds, then cutting new holes in the center for the implants and nipples. Sean sees Michelle enter the room, strips off his gloves and leaves.
  
  Escobar: "Sean, wait. Those titties have got to be perfect."

• Escobar enters Gala's room and prepares to "unveil" her reconstructed breasts. Liz cocks a pistol and points it at him.

   

  Christian: "Jesus Christ, Liz!"

   

  Sean: "Have you gone crazy?"

   

  Liz: "Crazy is trusting that this monster is ever going to leave us alone. This is going to end right here...you took my kidney, you asshole!"

   

  Gala persuades Liz to hand over the pistol. Liz does. Escobar gloats.

   

  Escobar: "That's my girl. Saving my ass again. Is she the bomb or what?"

   

  Gala shoots Escobar in the head. His body falls. Escobar's corpse is seen with a large pool of blood beneath its head.

• Escobar's dead body is shown in a car trunk. Just as they did with his henchman Silvio's body years ago, Sean, Christian and now Liz tie hams to Escobar's corpse and leave it in the Everglades for alligators to devour. An alligator is shown biting down on the body.

December 5, 2006 10:00 pm EST

"Willy Ward"

Christian and Michelle prepare to legally adopt Wilbur. Gina, Christian's former lover and Wilbur's birth mother, demands that Christian allow her to be involved in Wilbur's upbringing and makes a scene at a restaurant when he refuses. James, after inquiring to her employer about the market for children's kidneys, stalks Wilbur and visits Michelle's home. When Wilbur is abducted from a playground Michelle fears the worst. James confesses to Michelle that she is horrified by her own recent behavior and lack of humanity and commits suicide. It turns out that Gina took Wilbur, but after several hours with him learned that she is not cut out for motherhood. She returns Wilbur to Christian and Michelle and says she will not interfere in their lives again.

Kimber is dissatisfied by her sex life with Matt. Talking with her Scientology counselor she sees visions of herself as she was when a porn star. She berates herself for believing in Scientology and giving up porn. Matt seeks Sean's advice on how to satisfy Kimber sexually. After a graphic conversation Matt recruits several of Kimber's old co-workers and makes a pornographic movie starring Kimber and himself. Kimber and Matt are dismayed when their doctor tells them that the movie has been posted on the internet and upbraids them for betraying Scientology principles.

Sean treats Willy Ward, a ventriloquist who is completely dominated by the personality of his dummy Ralphie. Willy seeks a facelift, feeling that it will once again make him resemble Ralphie and restore their "relationship" to an equal basis. Sean realizes that Willy's relationship with his dummy resembles that of himself and Christian -- feelings that are confirmed when he learns that Liz has broken up with Poppy because Liz always felt inferior to her more attractive and successful partner. With Christian marrying and building a family, Sean feels he no longer has a separate identity from Christian. Sean asks Christian and Michelle to buy him out so that he can move to another city and find himself.

Michelle is confronted by ganglord Escobar Gallardo, with whom Sean and Christian have been involved in the past. Escobar tells Michelle that he was James' boss, and demands that Michelle continue stealing organs for him.

Guest-stars:

Jacqueline Bisset     (Ms. James)

Alanis Morissette      (Poppy)

Language:

• The words "hell" and "Jesus/Christ" were used (profanely) six times apiece in this episode. "Shit" and "goddamn" were used four times apiece. "Bitch" and "asshole" were used three times apiece. "Boob" was used twice. A variety of other words, such as "tits," "dick," and "pussy" were each used once.

• As Christian, Michelle and Wilbur dine at a restaurant Gina bursts in.

Christian: "Shit. What the hell are you doing here? Did you follow us?"

Gina: "My lawyer informed me this afternoon that you denied my request for visitation. What the hell else am I supposed to do?...This is just like you. You're all about appearances. What, you think Wilbur's gonna be more comfortable with her because she's black?"

Christian: "Jesus Christ!"

Christian grabs Gina and pushes her toward the door. Gina breaks free and Gina dumps a plate of food in Michelle's lap.

Christian: "Gina, Jesus!...You crazy bitch! What the hell are you doing?"

Gina: "All I wanted was a hug, goddamn it!"

• Sean consults with Willy and his dummy Ralphie. Ralphie boasts about their career.

Ralphie: "I felt Dinah Shore's tits!"

Willy tells Sean he wants a facelift.

Ralphie: "And while you're at it, why not throw in a dick and balls? Have you ever heard a man sound like such a pussy?"

Willy: "Goddamn it, Ralphie!"

Sean imagines himself as a ventriloquist with Christian as his dummy.

dummy Christian: "Face it, jerkface! It doesn't matter what you do. I'll always be sexier than you, better-looking and more charming. Now get your hand outta my ass!"

Sex:

• Matt asks Sean for advice on how to satisfy Kimber sexually.

Sean: "I think we have the original mold of the Kimber doll's vagina in storage. Now, I can get it and show you the sensitive areas."

Matt: "I know where her clitoris is, Dad."

Sean: "Sometimes straight vaginal intercourse won't be enough for her to reach full arousal. Have you tried digital or oral stimulation?"

Matt: "See, that's why she wanted to talk to Christian instead of you…he can tell me how to make her hot. You make me feel like I'm talking to Dr. Ruth. It's totally embarrassing."

Sean: "Okay, fine! You wanna make Kimber hot. I get it. She's a former porn star. You have to be assertive. Be a man! When she says she wants you to give it to her in the rear -- and believe me, Kimber will say that -- you tease her first with your tongue. She'll beg you to stick it in, but hold off. Wait until she writhes and screams, until she can't take it anymore. Only then do you give her what she wants. You pound her so hard she'll beg for mercy! The neighbors'll either move out or send you flowers. That's what I did with her! Um -- what I'd do."

Matt is crestfallen.

Matt: "If that's what you did with her, I can't imagine what Christian and Kimber did together."

• Kimber finds several photographers in her bedroom. Matt is instructing them to set up cameras focused on the bed.

Matt: "You and I are gonna make a porno. You said how you always had real orgasms on the set. That's why you're such a big seller. So we're gonna do one right here…we're gonna be watching it repeatedly, so I just wanted the quality to be fantastic."

Kimber's old sex film partner Lena enters the bedroom and greets Kimber. Lena laments the state of the porn industry.

Lena: "It's all gone to shit now, though. Nobody wants artistic porn anymore. All they want is this niche crap -- bondage, bukkake, bestiality."

• Kimber acts in a pornographic movie with Matt. Throughout the scene no breasts or genitals are explicitly seen. Kimber wears a black garter belt with stockings, panties and bra. The camera pans up her body as Kimber lies on the bed and moans.

Kimber: "Oh, doctor! I'm burning up. And you're the only gynecologist who'll make house calls."

Matt stands at the foot of the bed dressed as a doctor.

Matt: "Oh, my. Well then, we must take your temperature."

Matt pulls Kimber upright and positions her on all fours facing away from him. Matt pulls out a huge rectal thermometer and kisses it, then moves it downward.

Lena: "Don't block the money shot, Matt."

Kimber flinches as Matt withdraws the thermometer and looks at it.

Matt: "Oh, your fever's so high it's making me hot. Is your husband home?"

Kimber: "No, doctor. He's away doing boy's things. I need a real man who can take care of me."

Matt stands behind Kimber and undoes his pants. He moves against Kimber.

Matt (whispering): "He's right here."

Kimber is shown lying on her back with her legs on Matt's shoulders.

Kimber: "Oh, doctor! Oh, yeah!  Doctor, oh doctor! Oh yeah!"

Lena runs about, filming the scene.

Lena: "Oh that's right baby. Do it for mama!"

• Hudson's naked breasts are shown in close-up, filling the screen. Her nipples are covered with small pieces of tape. Christian pushes an insert into the breast. Sean enters and asks to join the surgery.

Christian: "Thought you'd cop a feel while she was under?...Jesus! You gotta be kidding me. You pull this crap every time your fragile little ego gets bruised."

Liz breaks up their argument.

Liz: "Boys, boys, boys. This is why God gave women two breasts. Now each of you take one and go play in your corner of the sandbox." 

The camera zooms in on Christian's hands on Hudson's naked breasts.

Violence:

• Sean performs a facelift on Willy. The surgery is shown in a rapid montage, with very brief scenes of the operation intercut with shots of Sean operating.

Sean is shown cutting into the flesh above Willy's eyeball, then suturing the wound shut. The flesh of the incision is briefly glimpsed. Sean cuts into the side of Willy's face. Rivulets of blood trickle down. Sean inserts an instrument under Willy's facial skin and maneuvers it back and forth.  Willy's bloody scalp is briefly seen.

• James threatens Michelle with a pistol. Michelle demands to know what James has done with Wilbur.

Michelle: "Give him back, goddamn you! He's innocent! He doesn't deserve to suffer!"

James: "Do any of us?...It seemed alright somehow to deprive you of the happiness I can't have. To make you taste the misery that has become my life. Misery! So powerful it can make you do things, things you never believed yourself capable of...You were right, what you said. There is nothing human left in me!"

James places the muzzle of the pistol under her chin and fires, killing herself. Blood spatters across the wall. James' body falls. Her head is not seen.

November 28, 2006 10:00 pm EST

"Reefer"

Sean is depressed that he must spend Christmas alone and begins drinking. He drunkenly performs a G-spot amplification on Mrs. Hickok, causing her to have

constant uncontrollable orgasms. Sean agrees to play Santa Claus for Liz's fundraiser but does so while drunk, with disastrous results. Sean also encounters homeless alcoholic Reefer, who commiserates with Sean's despair but urges him not to let alcohol dominate him. In gratitude Sean allows Reefer to spend Christmas Eve in the McNamara/Troy office.

Christian is told that James Sutherland has died and named Christian legal guardian of Wilbur, Sutherland's child by Christian's former lover, Gina. Christian previously thought Wilbur was his own child and had offered to raise him. Christian is thrilled by the news and agrees to take Wilbur in. Michelle is reluctant at first but happily agrees when she discovers that, like her, Wilbur is black.

The FBI visits McNamara/Troy, curious as to why murderous druglord Escobar sent them a Christmas ham -- a subtle reminder of his knowledge of their criminal activity. The FBI places the office under surveillance. Michelle warns James that she must cease using the office as a site for her organ thefts.

James' criminal boss phones her and threatens her life unless she procures more organs. Finding the friendless Reefer staying in the office James murders him, harvests his organs and demands Michelle dismember the corpse. They carry the remains past the FBI agents in toy bags while dressed as Santa's elves.

Throughout this episode, Christmas hymns and favorite songs are "ironically" played during depictions of violence and sex.

Guest-stars:

Jacqueline Bisset (Ms. James)

Alanis Morissette (Poppy)

Sex:

• Sean examines Mrs. Hickok. She is shown seated leaning back with her legs widely spread. Her lower half is covered with a sheet. Sean dons gloves and places his hands beneath the sheet, implicitly inserting his hand into her genitalia. Hickok begins breathing heavily and becomes aroused as Sean fondles her G-spot. As Sean prepares a hypodermic needle Hickok becomes more excited.

Hickok: "We gotta stop living for assholes who don't care anything about us. We gotta start taking care of ourselves, making ourselves happy. Cuz y'know what? We're the only ones who can do it. Do it! DO IT! OH, DO IT!! Oh, Debbie, do it!!"

Hickok gasps and shudders in orgasm as Sean fondles her. "Joy to the World" blares on the soundtrack as Hickok climaxes.

soundtrack: "Joy to the World, the Lord is COME!"

• Sean plays Santa Claus for Liz's fundraiser. Christian, Wilbur, Liz and Poppy gaze in horror through the windows of ‘Santa's workshop'. They see Sean dressed as Santa leaning back in his chair, his trousers around his ankles and his Santa beard pulled down, as a female "elf" kneels between his legs. Her head bobs up and down as she performs oral sex on him. Sean groans climaxes, then looks shocked as he sees the others watching him.

• Hickok consults Sean after her G- spot procedure.

Hickok: "It's like living on a roller coaster. First coupla times yeah, thrilling. After a while you just have to get off. Oh, shit!"

A buzzing sound is heard as Hickok moans and shudders in orgasm.

Hickok: "Oh god, oh god, oh, goddamn vibrate!"

Hickok pulls her cell phone out of her pocket.

Sean: "Getting off doesn't seem to be a problem anymore."

Violence:

• James harvests Reefer's organs. His entire torso is shown cut open and covered in blood, with his intestines, lungs and other organs displayed. The bloody, mutilated cadaver is shown repeatedly.

James: "He had no family or friends. His only skill was drinking. At least we gave him an opportunity to contribute to society…Of course, his liver was useless."

Throughout the scene "The Little Drummer Boy" plays on the soundtrack.

• Sean operates. He scrapes and peels burned boot material off of the man's bloody, charred legs using scalpels and tweezers. The livid red flesh is seen as the burned material is scraped off it. Extreme close-ups show dead flesh being peeled away and placed in a pan. Bloody cloths and implements are visible.

Language:

• The word "asshole/ass" was used eight times in this episode. "Shit" was used six times. "Hell" was used five times. "Goddamn/damn", "ho" and "Jesus" (profanely) were used three times apiece. "Bitch" and "vagina" were used twice apiece. A variety of other words, such as "cock," "cooch" and "tits" were each used once.

• Sean passes the homeless Reefer while wearing his new suit.

Reefer: "Damn! Look who just stepped off the pages of Gentleman's Quarterly! What is that shit?...I bet that run you what, two, three thousand, yeah?"

Sean: "Okay, I get your point. Jesus. Here's a five, okay?"

Reefer: "Doc, when a man can look that good it is a sin to walk around in anything less. Now what are ya gonna do with all that Brooks Brothers shit?"

Sean: "Forget it. We both know if I give you a suit you'll sell it for a week's supply of Jack."

November 21, 2006 10:00 pm EST

"Diana Lubey"

Diana Lubey asks that her husband's remains be placed inside her breast implants so that he will be close to her. Michelle and Christian object to the surgery but Sean, moved by Lubey's devotion after his recent desertion by Julia, performs the surgery anyway. When the dead man's true widow arrives it is learned that Lubey was his mistress, not his wife. The widow demands that the ashes be returned to her, and enraged by her dead husband's infidelity she pours them down a sink. Sean reveals that he gave the widow false ashes and returns the real ones to Lubey.

Christian proposes to Michelle. She accepts and asks Christian to sell his apartment and move in with her. Christian struggles with his fears about commitment and envisions his previous lovers telling him he is incapable of marriage. Ultimately Christian resolves his fears and bids farewell to his past.

Sean is depressed about Julia's leaving him. He consults psychiatrist Faith Wolper, unaware of her sexual obsession with Christian. She manipulates him, telling Sean that Christian loves him and is only marrying Michelle out of fear of acting on his gay feelings. Sean and Christian realize that Faith has been manipulating both of them and confront her.

James blackmails Michelle, demanding use of McNamara/Troy office for her organ thefts. Michelle refuses; but when James is beaten by her bosses Christian gives her surgery, Michelle perceives his actions as a betrayal. This causes a temporary rift between Michelle and Christian. At Sean's urging they get back together...but Michelle does not tell Christian about her complicity in James' organ theft.

Guest-stars:

Catherine Deneuve   (Diana Lubey)

Jacqueline Bisset     (Ms. James)

Brenda Vaccaro        (Bea Madsen)

Brooke Shields         (Faith Wolper)

Mario Lopez              (Mike Hamoui)

Language:

• The word "shit" was used eight times in this episode. "Goddamn" and "cock" were used six times apiece. "Asshole/ass" and "Jesus" (profanely) were used four times apiece. "Hell" was used twice. A variety of other words, such as "tits," "bitch" and "bastard" were each used once.

• Sean returns a box containing Victor Madsen's ashes to his widow Beatrice. He asks her if she believes in life after death.

Mrs. Madsen: "That's the only thing that keeps me going -- knowing that his soul is roasting in Hell for all eternity! Now if these are legally mine, I'd like to give the bastard a proper burial! Ya got a goddamn toilet in this place? I'm gonna flush him down the crapper like the piece of shit he is! Screwing his froggy mistress for the last ten years!...She got everything -- time, attention, love. All I got were endless lies and these goddamn spoiled kids. Well, now she's the one who gets nothing!"

Mrs. Madsen pours Victor's ashes down a sink.

Mrs. Madsen: "Now I can sleep, knowing you'll never go anywhere near that bitch's tits again!"

Violence:

• Michelle finds James and Tatiana stealing organs from a patient. James' eye bruise is seen. They are surrounded by bloody cloths and implements. Their bloody gloves are seen as Tatiana removes a bloody organ from the victim's body and hands it to James. She holds it toward Michelle.

James: "Why don't you come over here and finish for us -- for old times' sake?"

Sex:

• Sean prepares to operate on Lubey. Her bare breasts are shown in close-up as Sean grasps them. Her nipples are covered. Christian enters.
  
  Christian: "What the hell is she doing on the table?"

• Hamoui is interested in buying Christian's condo. Christian shows him the bedroom.

Hamoui: "You can still hear the screams from the women you banged in here!"

Christian: "Yeah. Yeah. There've been a few."

Christian imagines Kimber lying on his bed wearing only a low-cut bra and panties.

Kimber: "A few? More like a few thousand, right?"

Hamoui: "Hope these walls are thick."

Kimber: "And if these walls could talk, they'd tell you you're not ready to get married, Christian. You're not ready to give up all of this!"

Kimber pushes herself up on the bed, crawls behind Christian and leans against him. She leans back and massages his shoulders.

Kimber: "You've never been a one-woman guy, have you? Not even with me. Go ahead, marry Michelle. But you're just gonna cheat on her. You're gonna screw it up like you always do. Your fate's inevitable."

• Christian and Sean confront Faith.

Christian: "Since we're spilling secrets...Dr. Faith Wolper is a sexual compulsive, Sean. After I nailed her in this office and then removed her tattoo -- which said 'property of Marco' -- she thought I had the hots for her, didn't you doc?...If you wanted me to bend you over the desk again, why didn't you just ask? Why'd you have to involve my partner? Unless, of course, you wanna do us both."

Christian yanks down Faith's skirt and panties, exposing her rear. A tattoo reading "Property of Christian Troy" just above her rear is exposed.

Christian: "Jesus! I hope you didn't pay for any sessions in advance."

Christian slaps Faith's rear.

November 14, 2006 10:00 pm EST

"Conor McNamara, 2026"

This episode shifts between events taking place in the present day and twenty years in the future. The future scenes reveal what could happen to the series' characters.

In the present: as a hurricane moves towards Florida, Julia is torn between allowing Sean to operate on Conor's other hand and leaving him to join Marlo in Italy. After consideration Julia finds that she is not in love with Marlo and that their affair has only served to make her realize she must no longer depend on others. Julia refuses to allow Conor to have the surgery and leaves both Sean and Marlo, taking Annie and baby Conor to live alone.

In the future: college student Conor decides to undergo the surgery correcting his other hand, but struggles with his fear that it was his handicap in infancy which caused Sean and Julia to divorce.  Among other changes, it is revealed that in the future McNamara/Troy has become a worldwide franchise; Matt has become a plastic surgeon and performs Conor's surgery; and that Annie suffers from psychological disorders due to Sean and Julia's breakup. Conor's surgery causes the entire family to reconcile with one another.

Language:

• The words "shit," "goddamn" and "hell" were each used twice in this episode. The word "ass" was used once.

• Future Christian arrives accompanied by two women.

   

  Christian: "They only love me for my money, but they don't quit until the super-Viagra wears off so who gives a shit."

   

  Julia: "Thank God for the Polygamy Amendment. You can marry them both…I think it's shameful that you can marry two women but two gay men still can't get married in this country."

   

  Sean (bitterly): "The gays should consider themselves lucky."

   

  Christian: "This is bullshit."

November 7, 2006 10:00 pm EST

"Merrill Bobolit"

Sean and Christian are confronted with their complicity in a murder when figures from their shady past reappear. Former plastic surgeon Merrill Bobolit requests surgery to repair injuries received during his multiple prison rapes. He tells Christian that in prison he was the slave of Escobar, the druglord on whom Sean and Christian previously operated. Through Bobolit, Escobar threatens to expose Sean and Christian's criminal actions in disposing of a murdered corpse unless they operate on Escobar again and restore his face. They do so, Sean saving Escobar's life when Bobolit tries to kill him in revenge. In repayment for Sean's help Escobar "frees" him from fear of his past by leaving the corpse of a witness to their actions in Sean's den.

During consultations Sean complains to Escobar about Julia's affair with Marlo, which Julia has confessed to him. Escobar advises Sean to live and act honestly, lest he come to a bad end as Escobar did. "Inspired" by Escobar's action in keeping his word and leaving Sean alive, Sean confesses his affair with Monica to Julia. 

Kimber and Matt announce their marriage and her pregnancy to Sean and Christian. Kimber asks Christian to remove her breast implants so that she may breastfeed. During the procedure Christian draws a sample of her DNA, certain that he is the father of Kimber's child. He is shocked to learn that Matt is actually the father. 

Language:

• The word "shit" was used ten times in this episode. "Bitch" was used nine times. "Hell" was used seven times. "Goddamn" and "ass" were used four times apiece. "Jesus" was used profanely twice. A variety of other words and phrases, such as "dick," "queer" and "doggy-style" were each used once.

• Bobolit describes his time in prison to Christian.

   

  Christian: "Tell it to your parole officer, Merrill. I don't give a shit."

   

  Bobolit: "They raped me, Christian. Repeatedly. They passed me around for a year and a half, and now I can't even leave the house without fear of shitting my pants... I became someone's prison wife, someone more powerful than me."

   

  Christian: "A bitch…must be one hell of a guy. It usually takes at least six carrots for a bitch to give it up like that."

• As Christian operates on Bobolit's anal cavity, they talk.

Christian: "I like blondes who can suck the yellow out of a canary better than brunettes with great asses. I like 'em when I want 'em, and I like 'em how I want 'em. Which means, Merrill, no matter how hard you try you could never be like me."

Bobolit: "Speaking of blondes who blow, how's Kimber?...She still got her claws in you?"

Christian: "I wish it was just me. Since you've been gone she has screwed, and screwed over, me, Sean, and now my son."

Bobolit: "Well, her pimp hand is strong."

Christian: "Bullshit! The only thing strong about her are her vagina muscles. When you tire of those, she ain't got nothin'."

Bobolit: "I dunno, Christian. She may never have had her dick up your ass, but she's always had you by the balls."

• Escobar threatens Sean and Christian, telling them that he will inform on them unless they operate on him.

   

  Christian: "You're full of shit."

   

  Escobar: "Amigo, if I was full of shit you wouldn't be here right now."

   

  Sean removes Escobar's bandages and examines his burned face.

   

  Sean: "Jesus!"

   

Violence:

• Sean and Christian operate on Escobar. His face is a gory mass of raw and burned flesh. Bits of blood and charred skin cling to the face. At Escobar's insistence Bobolit observes the surgery.

A rapid montage of close-ups shows scalpels pulling and cutting away dead and burned tissue from Escobar's face. The charred skin is peeled away from the livid and bloody flesh beneath. Bloody implants are removed from his cheeks through his mouth. Bloody implements and gloves are seen. Drills bore into Escobar's face. Sean and Christian place implants on his forehead. Bobolit adjusts the anesthetic mechanism to suffocate Escobar. Escobar begins choking.

Christian: "What the hell?"

Boblit grabs a scalpel and yanks the airhose out of Escobar's mouth. He holds the scalpel to Escobar's neck and begins cutting Escobar's throat. Escobar screams. Close-ups show his bloody face.

Christian: "What the hell are you doing, Merrill?"

Bobolit: "What I've wanted to do ever since he branded his name on my ass in prison. Kill the monster! How's it feel to be a helpless bitch at the mercy of someone else?...Everyone inside finds out I killed Escobar Gallardo I'll be a goddamn king! A goddamn god! I'll finally get the respect I deserve!"

Sean punches Bobolit. As the guards grab Bobolit and carry him out Escobar screams in pain.

• Christian arrives at his office at night. He finds the dead bodies of five security men, all shot through the head and chest. Blood stains their bodies. Blood smears the walls. Holes and masses of blood are seen on the guards' bodies as they slump against a glass wall. Blood and brain matter cover the walls and shirts of the guards. Christian finds a bloody bandage from Escobar's face lying on a table.

• Escobar tells Sean that he is repaying Sean for helping him by giving Sean the evidence of Sean's putting the body in the swamp. Sean finds the dead body of the witness to Sean's criminal actions. The body has been shot through the head. Blood streams down the couch.

Sex:

• Julia confesses her affair with Marlo to Sean. Sean is enraged.

Sean: "How many times did you have sex with him?...Did he make you come?"

Julia: "Yes! He did!"

Sean: "How'd you do it, the sex? Missionary? Doggy-style?... Was his size an issue?"

Julia: "No. And I made him wear a condom. And it was tender and beautiful! Do you hate me more now?"

Sean: "No. I forgive you. You're right. The only way we can get through this is complete honesty. There's nothing left for us at this point."

Sean begins kissing Julia passionately. He rubs her crotch. She begins to pull down his pants and rubs against him.

• Matt reacts to Sean and Christian's disapproval of his marriage to Kimber.

Matt: "Why can't you both just admit what you're really pissed about? Your own lives have failed and I'm doing great! Really, it's a wonder I turned out this well."

Sean: "  'Turned out well'!? Going from dating a transsexual to marrying a faded porn star is not ‘doing well!' "

• Julia tells Matt she worries about his marriage to Kimber. Kimber objects.

Kimber: "Julia. Matt and I are in love, and I understand that becoming a grandmother brings up complicated feelings. But please don't make that our problem."

Julia: "My eighteen-year-old son is having a child with a woman who happens to have slept with both of his fathers. There is nothing complicated about MY feelings!"

October 31, 2006 10:00 pm EST

"Liz Cruz"

Sean gives Marlo the night off and urges Julia to go out to a movie with him. Julia and Marlo confess their feelings for one another, but Julia tells him she is married. Marlo believes that Julia would leave Sean for him if he were not a dwarf and consults Sean about having leg-lengthening surgery. Despite Sean's graphic description of the painful surgery, Marlo demands the procedure go ahead. Julia learns of Marlo's plans and goes to dissuade him. They have sex. Julia lies to Sean and says they only talked, but Sean begins to suspect there is something between them.

Ms. James is threatened by her mob bosses and ordered to obtain another kidney within 24 hours. When Christian calls her for a prostitute, James knocks him out and calls Michelle. James threatens to take both of Christian's kidneys and kill him unless Michelle finds her others. Still in love with Christian and hating her life caring for her invalid husband Burt, Michelle withholds Burt's medication, killing him. She removes Burt's kidneys and gives them to James, removing the threat to Christian's life.

Liz introduces Sean and Christian to her new girlfriend Poppy, a physical fitness fanatic. At Poppy's urging, Liz demands Sean and Christian perform liposuction and a facelift on her. As they do so both are dismayed by Poppy's critical remarks about Liz's appearance and her demand that they perform more liposuction than Liz asked for. Both walk out on the surgery in disgust. Sean begins to tell Liz about Poppy's demands but then stops, not wanting to ruin Liz's happiness in her new relationship, but Liz discerns from Sean's attitude that Poppy is critical and wants to change her.

Guest-stars:

Jacqueline Bisset  (Ms. James)

Larry Hagman       (Burt Landau)

Alanis Morissette  (Poppy)

Language:

• The words "shit," "hell," "damn" and "dick" were used three times apiece in this episode. "Bitch" and "asshole/ass" were used twice apiece. A variety of other words, such as "snatch," "dyke" and "bastard" were each used once.

• Christian tells Michelle that since she has chosen to stay with Burt, he is free to have sex with other people.

Christian: "What the hell. You've made your choice. Now I'm making mine…After everything he's put you through you couldn't possibly owe that old bastard a single thing. God gave me a dick, and I intend to glorify Him by playing that organ as intensely and as often as possible."

• Burt complains to Michelle.

   

  Burt: "Where the hell have you been? Oh God, I feel like shit."

   

  Burt asks Michelle to sit close to him.

   

  Burt: "Now show me. C'mon honey, let me nuzzle 'em a little bit."

   

  Michelle: "I don't really think you should excite yourself right now, Burt."

   

  Burt: "Oh shit, you're probably right...One damn thing after another starts to fall apart. It's been a sweet ride though, hasn't it?"

   

  Michelle: "Sweet? No, Burt, it hasn't. It stopped being sweet the day you forced me to make love to another man in front of you…You don't do that to someone you love -- you do that to something you own."

• Sean and Christian are surprised by Liz's request for liposuction.

   

  Sean: "I always thought it was different between women."

   

  Liz: "Yeah well, maybe once upon a time. But in this culture, trust me: dykes today are the worst! ...I got a second chance, and I'm not gonna blow it by spending the rest of my Saturday nights home eating Cherry Garcia."

   

  Christian: "Can't the two of you just watch TV?"

   

  Liz: "Asshole!"

   

• James arrives at Christian's and states that as he wanted a top-quality prostitute she came herself.  She fixes drinks for them, drugging Christian's.

   

  James: "Down the hatch."

   

  Christian: "And up your snatch."

   

Sex:

• Christian has sex with a prostitute. She lies atop him wearing a bra, moving her body against him as Christian strokes her sides and rear. The prostitute sucks Christian's finger as she moans and moves up and down on him. The prostitute licks Christian's chest and licks her way down to his crotch.
  
  Christian: "Better hold that thought, unless you're into golden showers."

• James unzips the drugged Christian's pants and pulls down his underwear, looking at Christian's crotch.

James: "Let's see what all the fuss is about. Hmm, impressive. Perhaps another time -- when you're a little more up to it."

• Christian tells Sean about James drugging him the previous night.

   

  Sean: "I don't understand why you'd get a hooker in the first place."

   

  Christian: "I was upset about Michelle."

   

  Sean: "Right. Gotta have it just as long as you can't get it. Why don't you just go to a bar and pick someone up like you usually do? I'm sure there's another mother-daughter team out there somewhere."

   

Violence:

• Marlo consults Sean about leg-lengthening surgery. As Sean describes the procedure it is shown onscreen in an imaginary sequence.

Sean: "I would start by breaking the tibia and fibula bones in both your legs."

A drill is shown penetrating a leg. The bloody drill bit is extracted. Sean places a long screwlike device into the opening.

Sean: "We'd attach an external fixator device to each half of each severed bone, using twelve-inch pins we'd insert through small holes drilled through your skin."

A close-up shows a series of metal pins driven into bloody wounds in a leg, held in place by scissors-like implements. A hand spreads apart one wound. Sean inserts the drill bit into it.  A small amount of blood leaks out of the wound.

Sean: "Once the surgery is completed a small screw is turned, stretching the fixator device to increase the distance between both halves of each bone."

A foot with spike-like metal pins piercing the flesh is shown. Hands attach a large brace to the foot and twist knobs, adjusting it and stretching the leg.

Sean: "The pain is considerable, since anti-inflammatory drugs slow bone growth and are only prescribed in emergencies."

Marlo's face is shown wincing. Sean is shown with a screwdriver twisting various screws and increasing the tension on the leg brace devices.

Sean: "The screws are turned four times a day to allow new bone growth to occur in the space between -- roughly around one millimeter per day."

Marlo's face is shown contorting in agony.

October 24, 2006 10:00 pm EST

"Conor McNamara"

Sean is agitated and irritable from his preparations to operate on his baby Conor to correct Conor's ectrodactyly. When a boy mocks Conor's malformed hands, Sean argues with the boy's father and hits him. The father sues Sean. Sean apologizes to him and explains about his anxiety.

Sean's desire to "fix" Conor and make him "perfect" is explained. Sean has flashbacks revealing that, as a child, he had a harelip. His mother Kathleen insisted it be fixed so that Sean could have a normal childhood, but his father Tom demanded that they save their money to send Sean to college and not waste it on superficial surgery. Kathleen took Sean for the surgery against Tom's wishes, and Tom left them.

During a meeting to answer Julia's questions about the surgery, Marlo raises concerns about how surgery at a young age can traumatize a child and cause them psychological problems in adulthood. Sean is indignant at being questioned by the male nurse, but Julia is grateful to Marlo for addressing her fears. Touched by Marlo's compassionate nature Julia begins falling for him and they kiss. Marlo announces that he is leaving so as not to disrupt Julia's marriage, but returns and sits with her during Conor's surgery.

Hedda Grubman, a previous patient who was addicted to plastic surgery and obsessed with her looks, returns to visit Christian. She tells him she is dying of cancer and wants him to perform plastic surgery on her corpse after she dies, so that she will look good for her funeral. Christian befriends her in her last days and does perform the surgery on her body. He is surprised to learn that Grubman has left her vast wealth to a McNamara/Troy endowment fund for people who need plastic surgery and cannot pay for it.

Language:

• The word "asshole/ass" was used 10 times in this episode. "Shit" was used three times. Several other words, such as "bitch" and "hell" were each used once.

• At a restaurant, a boy mocks baby Conor's hands. Sean tells him to stop. The boy's father argues with Sean.

   

  Father: "Take it easy, buddy. He's just a kid."

   

  Sean: "Who's making fun of a handicap! Maybe if you got your nose outta that newspaper and paid him some attention, he wouldn't be such a little asshole!"

   

  Father: "Don't call my son an asshole, or your kids are gonna see their old man get his ass kicked!"

   

  Sean punches the man in the face.

   

  Sean: "Your son's an asshole -- but not half as big an asshole as his father!"

   

Violence:

• Christian performs surgery on Mrs. Grubman's naked corpse. Her breasts and groin are covered.

A scalpel cuts into her forehead and peels back her skin from the bloody flesh beneath. Christian digs around at the underlying flesh with a large implement.

Christian cuts into Mrs. Grubman's bare breast. He holds a cloth over her nipple, obscuring it.

A scalpel cuts into Mrs. Grubman's abdomen. Christian inserts a liposuction tube and shoves it back and forth inside her.

• Sean, Christian and another doctor perform corrective surgery on baby Conor.

Curved prongs pin down Conor's hand as scalpels cut away skin and dig into his bloody flesh, carving a furrow between two fused bones.  A close-up shows the bloody bone peeling almost entirely away from the skin of one finger. Sean sutures shut the fingers, then cuts open Conor's thumb and uses a caliper device to split open the flesh. He uses a scalpel to probe about inside. Another doctor uses a drill to insert a plate with screws into the thumb bone. Sean uses a screwdriver to adjust the plate and bone, and sutures the plate to Conor's hand.

October 17, 2006 10:00 pm EST

"Burt Landau"

Liz learns that her one remaining kidney cannot keep her alive. Christian and Sean volunteer to be tested as donors. Sean learns he is a match, but worried about his baby's upcoming surgery he lies and says he is not. Sean is shamed when Matt is tested, learns he is a match, and plans to donate his kidney to Liz. After Christian berates him for lying Sean works up the courage to tell Liz the truth. Liz refuses his offer, having found a better donor.

Dawn Budge returns and demands a new ear after robbers cut hers off to steal her earring. Sean takes her to a genetics lab which grows a new ear. While in the recovery room, Budge befriends Liz and laments that despite her wealth nobody loves her. Learning that she is a match, Budge donates her kidney to Liz.

Christian refuses to continue having sex with Michelle while Burt watches. Michelle begs him not to cause trouble, as her entire life and fortune are bound up with Burt. When Burt suffers a stroke after taking Viagra, Christian suspects Michelle of giving Burt the drug in hopes of killing him. Christian's insinuation enrages Michelle and she orders him to stay away from her.

Matt reveals his attraction to Kimber and attempts to have sex with her. Kimber learns that Matt has been following Scientology primarily as a way to impress her. She orders him out, telling Matt that he must learn to be more "giving." Matt decides to donate his kidney to Liz as proof that he is a good person.

Depressed by Michelle's rejection, Christian gets drunk and persuades Kimber to have sex by telling her that he is interested in converting to Scientology. After they have sex Christian tells her he lied and that he was only using her. Kimber is enraged and seduces Matt, Christian's biological son, in revenge.

Christian operates on Burt's face. During the surgery, Burt flat lines. Christian and Michelle contemplate letting him die, which would solve all their problems, but Christian saves him. He urges Michelle to put Burt in a nursing home, but she vows to stand by him, thereby rejecting Christian again.

Sex:

• Christian and Michelle have sex as her husband Burt watches. Michelle bends over a table grunting and grimacing as Christian stands behind her and thrusts into her. Michelle wears a bra which reveals nearly all of her breasts. Christian gasps in pleasure.

   

  Burt: "Christian! It's not your face I want to see, it's hers! Jesus

   

  Christian: "Screw this!"

   

  Christian steps away and pulls up his pants.

   

  Burt: "Where do you think you're goin'?"

   

  Christian: "I'm done playing dildo."

   

  Burt threatens to take Christian's business away if he leaves.

   

  Christian: "You can have it -- and her. Hopefully one of them will get you a hard-on. You're done playing with my ten-inch dick!"

• Kimber prepares to "audit" Christian. He comes up behind her and begins removing her robe, revealing her bra. Kimber tells him to stop but he continues to undress her. Christian moves his hands under her robe and caresses her crotch.

Christian: "Don't tell me you never think about me, baby, when you're alone at night and your fingers find their way down to your pretty little rosebud. You never close your eyes and pretend those hands are mine?"

Kimber frantically removes her robe.  She sits on the counter in her underwear and spreads her legs. Kimber gasps as Christian penetrates her. Christian thrusts into her as Kimber gasps and smiles.

After sex, Kimber offers to "audit" Christian.

Christian: "Are you kidding me? I don't give a shit about your whacky-doo religion…I said what I always say. Whatever it takes to get me laid…Whores only give you their body. I needed to feel like the most important man in the world, and you're the only person in the world that can do that for me. Don't worry, sweetheart. I'm sure there's some chapter in Dianetics that'll help you."

Language:

• The word "shit" was used eight times in this episode. "Jesus/Christ" was used (profanely) six times. "Dick" and "balls" were used twice. A variety of other words, such as "hard-on," "tits" and "bitch" were each used once.

• Burt orders a meeting with Sean and Christian.

Sean: "Any idea of what this come-to-Jesus meeting with Burt is all about?"

Christian: "Yeah. We're gonna get fired. He found out about Michelle and I. He said if we didn't screw in front of him, that he would tear the business apart. Turns out the old bird is a kinky bastard."

Sean: "Jesus, Christian. I should've known if anything was gonna bring this place to its knees it would be your dick!"

• Christian phones a fellow doctor.

Christian: "You owe me, Jim. Who helped you get into the pants of that hot Brazilian radiologist with the big fake tits when we were residents? You married her? No shit?"

Violence:

• Dawn Budge consults Sean and Christian, stating that she has been "earjacked." She rips away a bandage on her head, revealing a bloody ear-shaped scar. A flashback montage shows Budge wearing expensive earrings. A pair of hoodlums on a motorcycle is shown driving down the sidewalk wielding a razor blade. The blade slashes through Budge's ear. Blood splatters everywhere as a slicing sound effect is heard. Budge's severed ear is shown sailing through the air as she holds her hand over her wound, blood gushing down her arm. The cyclists grab the severed ear with the earring attached and drive off. Budge faints with blood streaming from her ear and gushing all over her face.

• The newly-grown ear is removed from the mouse's body by surgery. A scalpel is shown cutting into the mouse. Simultaneously, Budge's bloody ear wound is rinsed. Scalpels and tweezers pick apart small fragments of the flesh. The ear is sutured into place and bandaged. A small amount of blood is seen.

October 10, 2006 10:00 pm EST

"Faith Wolper, PhD"

Sean plans a second honeymoon for himself and Julia. When Marlo becomes ill Julia calls Monica in as a substitute nanny. Monica tries repeatedly to seduce Sean and begins breastfeeding baby Connor. When Sean orders her to leave Monica threatens to tell Julia about their affair and to tell the police that Sean raped her. Sean has a vision of Escobar, who urges him to murder Monica. He contemplates doing so but ultimately refuses. Monica is hit by a bus and killed, thus resolving Sean's problem -- but Sean has visions of both Escobar and the dead Monica mocking him.

Christian is disturbed by a dream that he and Sean are lovers, but that Sean won't come out of closet. Later, Sean berates Christian over Christian's affair with Michelle, fearing it could destroy the practice.

Faith Wolper, the therapist whom Christian previously consulted and with whom he had sex, consults Christian. Faith confesses that she was molested as a child and that she is now a sex addict. She asks Christian to remove a tattoo a previous lover forced her to receive.  Christian discusses his concerns about his dream and Michelle with Faith. She urges Christian to break off the relationship with Michelle. Christian does so.

Burt, having discovered Christian and Michelle's affair, orders them to have sex in front of him and threatens to ruin them if they do not comply. It is revealed that Faith is obsessed with Christian; she has approached Burt to counsel him and is using the knowledge gained from him and Christian in their therapy sessions to manipulate Burt into ordering Christian and Michelle to continue their affair while including him in their sex acts. Faith hopes to destroy Christian's relationship with Michelle and Burt and have Christian for herself.

Sex:

• Burt presents Christian and Michelle with matching nightwear.

Burt: "I thought you might want to wear them the next time you two have sex. I smelled it on you, honey...I gave you the world, and this is how you repay me. The same goes for you."

Christian: "You should know it's over between us."

Burt: "Oh? Well, what if I don't want it to be? I wish I could be the lover I was 30 years ago with you, Michelle -- but I can't. You know, the most beautiful thing in the world I've ever seen is that glow you get after you've had an orgasm. And I want to see that again. And you're the one that can give it to her now...I'm gonna be there when it happens. I think it's only fair that I get to watch, don't you?"

Christian: "Watch? What makes you think either of us would agree to let you do that?"

Burt: "Well, I think I'm being very generous here…it's you two that's making it difficult. I'm just trying to make the most of a shitty situation."

• Christian and Michelle have sex as Burt watches.

Burt: "No! No kisses. No kisses! Only she and I did that. Find some other way to warm her up."

Christian kisses Michelle's neck and removes her negligee.

Burt: "Alright. Show me what he likes."

Christian lies down. Michelle pulls back his robe and kisses his chest and down to his waist.

Burt: "Okay, okay, get on with it."

Michelle and Christian remove their clothes and stand naked before Burt. Christian's naked rear is seen. Michelle lies back as Christian climbs atop her. She gasps as he enters her. She groans as Christian thrusts into her. Burt winces. Michelle looks at Burt.

Christian: "Stay with me."

Christian thrusts into Michelle. Their bodies rock together.

• Christian's therapist Faith, with whom Christian previously had sex, visits him at his office.

   

  Faith: "I wanted to thank you."

   

  Christian: "Well, it was good for me too, doctor. But you could've just left a message on my machine."

   

  Faith: "That's why I wanted to see you in person. The sex was not good for me at all…I'm a diagnosed sexual compulsive. Sex with strangers has been an issue ever since my cousin molested me when I was twelve. I've been in therapy for years. I thought I had it under control, but clearly I don't."

   

  Christian: "And now you want to thank me for helping you fall off the wagon?"

   

  Faith: "I want to thank you for helping me realize I still have a problem. And actually I was hoping that you would do me a favor."

   

  Faith removes her jacket and unzips her skirt, displaying a tattoo which reads "Property of Marco."

   

  Christian: "Who's Marco?"

   

  Faith: "Someone I had a relationship with five years ago. We met after I answered his want ad for a submissive. He gave me the tattoo so when he watched me have sex with other men, they'd know who I really belonged to…Marco was the low point of my life, I think. Until I had sex with you in my office."

   

Language:

• The word "shit" was used seven times in this episode. "Hell" was used five times. "Goddamn," "dick" and "bitch" were each used twice. A variety of other words, such as "boobs," "balls" and "cum" were each used once.

• Sean confronts Christian about allowing Michelle to assist at a surgery.

Sean: "What the hell were you doing?...You can't keep your dick in your pants! I know you're sleeping with her, and it has to stop, Christian."

Christian: "When you came to me with the story of the naughty little nanny that you banged, did I tell you what to do?"

Sean: "That was just between us!"

Christian: "If I'm supportive of your affairs, Sean, you can't have a say in mine!"

Sean: "If screwing the boss means that we can all get fired, you're damn right I have a say!"

• Sean imagines a conversation with Escobar, the druglord who represents the evil side of his character.

   

  Escobar: "You think my shit don't stink, Sean?"

   

  Sean: "What are you talking about?"

   

  Escobar: "My shit. It don't stink, right? I mean, you gotta believe that if you think Monica ain't gonna tell your wife about you banging her…You're never gonna have any peace as long as this bitch is in the picture."

Violence:

• Sean runs out the door after Monica. As she stands in the street screaming at him, she is hit by a bus. A long streak of blood is seen on the street. A body part lies in the street. Blood drips off the front of the bus. The driver leaps out. He and Sean bend over Monica's body.

   

  driver: "Is she alive?"

   

  Sean: "No."

• As he dines with Julia. Sean sees the dead Monica seated on the other side of the table. She has a gory head wound encrusted with dried blood. Blood gushes down her face and covers her head, hair and blouse. She stares at Sean.

October 3, 2006 10:00 pm EST

"Dawn Budge"

The mysterious Ms. James blackmails Christian for half a million dollars and hand reconstruction surgery on her in exchange for releasing Michelle from her debt and not telling Michelle's husband about Christian and Michelle's affair. Christian promises to raise the money without telling Michelle that he is paying James for her release. Christian believes he is in love with Michelle and asks her to stay with him, but Michelle refuses. Claiming she is touched by Christian's gallantry, Ms. James reveals that she and Michelle were once lovers, and promises she will leave Christian and Michelle alone in the future.

Sean buys an engagement ring for Julia and re-proposes to her. She is angry with him about Matt's situation and initially refuses, but later proposes to Sean herself. Sean and Julia are remarried.

Christian and Sean buy Matt a new Porsche in the hope of swaying him away from Scientology. Kimber convinces Matt that they are trying to bribe him and says they are "suppressive."  At Kimber's instigation Matt moves out of the house and into a Scientology center. Sean hires a deprogrammer to kidnap Matt, but his attempt fails.

Christian treats lottery winner Dawn Budge, who wants full body liposuction for herself; breast enlargement and a new bellybutton for her daughter Mallory; and a bigger penis for husband Dwight. In order to raise the money he needs to pay off Ms. James, Christian convinces Dawn to pay him to take her to salons and boutiques for a full makeover. When Dawn finds Dwight and Mallory in bed together, she pays Christian to have sex with her in revenge. Christian does so but tells Dawn she is selfish and will never be loved. Dwight and Mallory leave Dawn to be together.

Using the money he obtained from Dawn, Christian pays off Ms. James. However, James blackmails Michelle into working for her again, threatening to tell her husband about Michelle's affair with Christian. Michelle seduces a man at a bar. It is revealed that Ms. James and Michelle are the organ thieves who stole Liz's kidney.

Language:

• The word "hell" was used six times in this episode. "Goddamn" was used five times and "shit" was used four times. "Ass" and "penis" were used twice apiece. A variety of other words, such as "dick," "cum" and "pussy" were each used once.

• Christian and Sean consult with Dawn Budge, a lottery winner who wants full-body liposuction. With her are husband Dwight and daughter Mallory.

Budge: "Pudge Budge has got to go. It is time my body matched my bank account."

Mallory: "If that's what you're after, hell, you [would have] been skinny your whole life. She was only makin' 15 grand down at the Jiffy Lube."

Sean asks Mallory if she also wants surgery.

Mallory: "I want some new tits. Big ones."

Budge: "Finally something we agree on. I mean, she's gotta do somethin' about those mosquito bites. She's never gonna get a man and move the hell outta my house. While you're in there do something about her belly button…How the hell you gonna walk around South Beach in a tube top? Look, Dwight. It's bigger than your penis."

Dwight looks embarrassed. Sean starts to ask his opinion of surgery on Mallory, but Budge cuts him off.

Budge: " ‘Scuse me, Dwight is my second husband. He is not Mallory's father. He is here because he would like a bigger dick. And those pumps? A total waste of money."

Mallory smirks in amusement. Dwight looks away embarrassed.

Christian: "So you'd like a penis enlargement, Mr. Budge?"

Dwight: "Oh hell, I dunno. I never really thought about having an operation."

Sex:

• Julia confronts Sean about the phone bill.

   

  Julia: "Tell me about 1-900-555-UCUM."

   

  Sean: "That is, um  --  just a few phone calls. It's a former patient. I gave her a voicelift, she's a phone sex operator and I just wanted to check in with her and make sure the work was sufficient."

   

  Julia: "There's 500 dollars in phone calls here!"

   

  Sean: "I stopped calling over a month ago. Sorry. I just -- it won't happen again."

   

  Julia: "You know, I almost understand it. Since the baby I haven't been available much. I can't remember the last time we made love…Do you need me to buy you some pornography? What do you like? Girl on girl? Three ways? Interracial couples? At least DVDs would be cheaper."

   

• Budge and Christian enter her bedroom. Dwight is lying naked on the bed with his stepdaughter Mallory atop him, having sex. The bed bounces as they thrust up and down. Mallory's bare bottom is visible.

   

  Mallory: "I just wanted to try out my new titties, Momma."

• Budge visits Christian's home.

Budge: "I wanna buy one more thing, Dr. Troy. A night with you. I need Dwight to know he can't do what he did without consequences. Basically, I want a revenge screw... Name your price, sexy man."

Christian: "Four hundred thousand bucks gets you ten minutes. Strictly missionary, nothing kinky."

Budge: "I'll throw in an extra twenty if we can do it on the rug."

Christian and Budge have sex on the floor. A sheet covers Christian's back and Budge's midsection. Christian's bare rear is seen. Christian thrusts into Dawn as they move together.

Budge: "Your ass is really brown. What is that, Mystic spray on tan? Um, are you all the way in?"

September 26, 2006 10:00 pm EST

"Shari Noble"

Christian treats Shari Noble, a woman who says her nipple was torn off when she tried to break up a dogfight. Shari is desperate to have the injury repaired and undetectable before her husband returns from Iraq. The husband returns after the surgery and confronts Shari, revealing that her nipple was actually torn off when she was having sex with the dog.

Ms. James, the mysterious woman with a hold over Michelle, returns with another woman. She demands that Michelle have plastic surgery performed on the other woman, and states that Michelle's ownership of McNamara/Troy will be of use to her.

Christian continues his attempt to seduce Michelle. When he learns of Ms. James' visit and discovers that Michelle manipulated him into performing surgery on a patient who was not billed, he threatens to tell Michelle's husband Burt unless Michelle reveals her secrets. Michelle confesses to Christian that she was once a prostitute. James was her madam and paid for her schooling, but Michelle left her, married Burt and has been paying James off. Christian uses the information to blackmail Michelle into having sex with him.

Julia is depressed, anxious and unable to breastfeed baby Connor. Male nanny Marlo discerns that she feels responsible for Connor's malformed hands and therefore cannot enjoy motherhood. He urges Julia to accept Connor as he is and stop blaming herself. Marlo also paints a mural of Adam and Eve in the Garden of Eden on the nursery wall.

Sean also feels pressured. Monica Wilder, the young nanny with whom Sean had sex, returns and tells Sean she cannot forget him. Sean visits Monica's apartment and eats a drugged brownie which causes a bizarre hallucination during which Sean deals with his feelings for Julia and decides what course to pursue in his life. Deciding he loves Julia and does not want to commit adultery again, he leaves Monica without having sex with her.

Liz is depressed that she has not had a date for a year and a half. Christian takes her to a lesbian bar to help her find a girlfriend. A woman seduces Liz, drugging her and stealing her kidney. Sean and Christian promise Liz they will care for her during her recovery.

Language:

• The words "vagina" and "asshole/ass" were used three times apiece in this episode. "Shit," "goddamn," "bitch" and "dick" were each used twice. A variety of other words, such as "tits," "hard-on" and "pussy" were each used once.

• Christian and Liz visit a lesbian bar.

Christian: "What a crying shame!  All these magnificent vaginas wasted on other vaginas."

Liz: "Focus, Christian. This is about finding ME the vagina of my dreams."

Liz notices a woman looking at her. Christian approaches the woman.

Christian: "Here's something to think about while you're nibbling on that swizzle stick. I can munch, dive and go fish better than any girl in this place. Plus, I have in my possession a very lifelike dildo, just in case you decide to get kinky. What do you say?"

woman: "First of all, I do the munching. Second of all, you're an asshole."

Christian: "Goddamn dykes have no sense of humor."

• During his drug-induced hallucination Sean sees druglord Escobar (who represents the evil/demonic side of Sean's psyche). Escobar urges Sean to have sex with Monica.

Escobar: "Take your tie off, pussy. I mean, you can't take her ass with your tie on, right? Hmm. This is some good shit…Hell was full, so I came up to chaperone your ass."

Sean asks Escobar what he wants.

Escobar: "You know my friend, I believe the question is: what do YOU want? I believe you want THIS!"

Escobar grabs the bra-and-panty-clad Monica's rear and grasps it tightly, pulling her against his body.

Escobar: "So take off your pants and be a man! I think that's what I would do … power is taking that little bitch's ass!"

Sex:

• Shari Noble's husband Mark confronts her.

Mark: "I saw an open peanut butter jar by the goddamn bed, Shari. I thought we agreed this wasn't gonna happen again...So now you just keep it there by the bed in case the spirit moves you? How often? Every night?...I also failed to anticipate that you would turn into a faithless, demented whore who would use peanut butter to seduce your own dog!"

Mark opens his duffel bag, dumping out a dead dog.

• Sean tells Christian about his one-night stand with Monica.

Sean: "You were right about the night nurse. I screwed her…after Megan I swore I'd never cheat again. And now I've done just that with someone I don't even like."

Christian: "Don't be so hard on yourself. Julia's been closed for repairs lately, right? It was a one-time thing. Cut yourself some slack. Just don't do it again."

Sean: "I want to do it again. Badly."

Christian takes Sean's cell phone and deletes Monica's name.

Christian: "Gone. The little slut's history."

• During his drug-induced hallucination Sean sees Monica on her hands and knees. Escobar kneels behind her having sex with Monica. The bed shakes as he thrusts into her.

   

  Escobar: "Bust a hard nut Sean, and relieve the pressure, man!"

   

  Monica smiles and shakes her head in glee as she copulates with Escobar. Escobar sticks a long, forked tongue out of his mouth and waggles it about.

   

  Sean: "I don't want this! I'm not you!"

   

  Escobar: "Uh, Sean -- yes, you are."

   

  Sean sees Escobar copulating with Megan. She stares into Sean's eyes as Escobar thrusts into her.

   

  Megan: "This is what you want? This is who you want to be?"

   

  Escobar continues copulating with Megan.

   

  Escobar: "Sean, your baby's a freak! Make her pay for what she did to you! Make God pay for giving you a baby with lobster hands!"

   

  Sean sees Escobar copulating with his wife Julia. She shakes as he thrusts into her.

• Liz and Christian discuss Michelle. Liz admires Christian's ability to seduce women.

Liz: "I know how you feel, Christian. I've had some extremely hot dreams about her myself…Do you think you could teach me to be as full of shit as you are?"

Christian: "I thought lesbians didn't play games. I thought it was all about cuddling and sharing your depilatory cream."

Liz: "Have you been to a lesbian bar lately? There is more gaming going on than a Vegas casino. And the girls, they're younger. And they're hotter."

Christian: "When was the last time you went on a date, Liz?"

Liz: "A real one? Year and a half. Hey, I have my rabbit vibrator. Who needs a real live girl, right?"

Violence:

• Ms. James grabs a paperweight and smashes Annalice in the face. A very brief glimpse of Annalice's bloodied nose and jaw is seen as she falls to the floor. Annalice is heard gasping and moaning in pain.

• Christian consults with the hospitalized Shari Noble. Christian opens Shari's shirt and removes a bandage, exposing her naked breast. There is a large, raw wound where her nipple and aureole should be.

• Christian operates on Shari. Her exposed breast, with the jagged raw wound where her nipple should be, is repeatedly shown. Christian injects a hypodermic into the breast. A close-up shows Christian placing a flap of skin over Shari's damaged nipple area.

September 19, 2006 10:00 pm EST

"Monica Wilder"

Christian learns that a YouTube video of himself having sex has circulated around the Internet when Liz brings it to his attention. Viewing the video, Christian is concerned that he looks fat and asks Sean to perform liposuction on him. Sean refuses. Christian befriends Dr. Hamoui at the gym and admires his physique. Hamoui agrees to perform the surgery on Christian.

As Julia's pregnancy comes to term, college student Monica Wilder applies for a job as Julia and Sean's night nurse. As Sean drives her home both reminisce about how carefree they were as teens. Sean has sex with Monica. He tries to repay her with a nose job, but Christian stops him. Monica tells Julia she is returning to Akron. Sean is ridden with guilt and conceals the affair from Julia.

Sawyer, a dwarf, also applies for the job as nurse. Learning that Sean plans to operate on the baby, Sawyer encourages them to try to accept the child as he is. After the birth, Julia takes his advice and hires Sawyer as their nurse.

Julia and Sean's new baby, Connor, is born. Annie is upset by the baby's malformed hands. Sean is angered that Christian missed the birth because he was getting liposuction instead.

Liz tells Michelle that she saw the mysterious woman fondling her and, believing Michelle is also a lesbian, offers her sympathy.  Michelle is panicked that someone knows about her relationship with the woman and tries to fire Liz for sexual harassment. Sean convinces Michelle to allow Liz to stay.

Christian meets Matt at the gym. Matt states that Christian is a "superficial person" and tells Christian to stay out of his life.

Sex:

• Liz, Linda, Sean and Christian watch the YouTube video of Christian having sex. 

woman [onscreen}: "Ooh. Ooh, roll over. I want to spank your ass. Yeah, oh yeah! I want every inch of you, baby!"

The screen is shown. A bare-chested woman, her breasts pressed against a bed, is having sex. She rocks violently as an unseen man thrusts into her. The scene on the computer screen shifts, showing that it is Christian having sex with her.

Christian [on screen]: "Oh yeah. Here we go! Oh yeah, Touchdown baby! Touchdown! Yeah, baby!"

woman [onscreen]: "Yeah baby. Give it to me more!"

The scene on the computer screen shifts again. Christian is seen bare-chested, wearing a surgical cap and stethoscope, with a woman's legs draped over his shoulders, having sex with her.

Christian [onscreen]: "I can go all night. I'm a goddamned juggernaut! Yeah!"

voice: "Oh, you sexy bastard...more! Yes! Oh yeah! More!"

The computer screen shows a close-up of Christian's naked torso and the naked back of his sex partner. Christian thrusts vigorously into the woman.

Christian [onscreen]: "Look at me!"

woman [onscreen]: "I'm looking at you."

Christian [onscreen]: "Say I'm the hottest piece of ass you've ever had."

The screen focuses on the woman's face. Her breasts are briefly seen, her hands cupping them, as she reacts to Christian's thrusts.

woman [onscreen]: "You're the hottest, sexiest piece of ass I've ever had! Yes, God, yes! Oh yeah! Yeah!"

The onscreen Christian roars as he climaxes, then turns and walks away. The screen focuses on his naked rear. The film plays forward and backward, showing his rear in motion.

• At a motel room, Sean and Monica have intercourse. The camera pans up past their underwear jumbled on the floor, over Sean's naked body. They are seen from above. Monica's legs are wrapped around Sean's waist. Sean is shown naked from behind, his rear bobbing as he thrusts into Monica. The camera zooms in on Monica's face as she gasps in pleasure. Sean's thrusts slow as they both apparently climax. Sean rolls away from her. Monica giggles as she cuddles up to him.

Language:

• The word "ass" was used eight times in this episode. "Hell" was used four times. "Shit," "goddamn," "bitch" and "dick" were used three times apiece. "Jesus (profanely)" and "jerk off" were each used twice. Several other words, such as "bastard" and "cooch," were each used once.

• Christian reacts to the video of himself having sex.

   

  Christian: "Where the hell did you get this?"

   

  Liz: "Looks like you screwed over one AV nerd too many…Your fat ass has been downloaded 6,000 times, Christian."

   

  Christian: "This is bullshit!"

   

  Sean: "It's also illegal. You could sue. This is an invasion of privacy."

   

  Christian: "I don't give a shit about that. Leaked sex tapes are gold. But look at the angle she's got on my tummy. I look like Jabba the Hutt! Jesus!"

   

  Christian examines the video more closely.

   

  Christian: "Holy shit! Is that my ass?"

• Liz teases Christian for being fat. He taunts her in return.

   

  Liz: "I saw the tape."

   

  Christian: "I don't think it's appropriate to discuss your new jerk-off material over surgery…Can you even find your weedy cooch under that messy gut of yours?"

September 12, 2006 10:00 pm EST

"Blue Mondae"

Christian's sex bout with stripper Blue Mondae is interrupted when he is asked to perform facial surgery on Mitchell, the young lover of older gay man Arthur. Learning that Mitchell services Arthur for money, Christian bribes Blue to have sex with Mitchell and "straighten him out," agreeing to perform breast reduction surgery on Blue for free.  When Arthur learns of Mitchell's actions he cuts Mitchell off financially. Mitchell comes to Christian for help and attempts to seduce him. Christian punches him and throws him out.

Sean meets a barrista with a facial deformity. Frustrated and saddened by his unborn son's birth defect, Sean offers to help the barrista for free. He attempts facial reconstruction on the barrista but is unable to help him.

Matt meets Kimber at a gym. Kimber introduces Matt to Scientology, "auditing" him and helping him with his problems. Matt enthusiastically embraces Scientology, despite objections from Sean and Christian.

Christian angrily confronts Kimber, who refuses to have anything further to do with him. He threatens Kimber with violence if she seduces or corrupts Matt.

Michelle is enraged at all the free surgery Christian and Sean are performing. She reminds them that her husband owns their practice and has placed her in charge. Liz later sees Michelle kissing and being fondled by a mysterious woman, to whom Michelle gives a large amount of money.

The birth defect of Sean and Julia's unborn baby has the family on edge. Annie binds her fingers together and removes the fingers from all her dolls in an attempt to understand what the baby's life will be like. Sean and Julia become angry and overreact, thinking Annie is mocking her baby brother. Sean decides to perform surgery on the baby's hands as soon as he is born. Julia agrees and states that they will name the boy Connor.

Guest-stars:

Richard Chamberlain (Arthur)

Jacqueline Bisset (mysterious woman)

Sex:

• Christian visits a strip club. One stripper, wearing a bra, thong, garter belt and boots, leaps upward onto a pole, wrapping her legs around it and grinding her crotch against it. In the background another similarly clad stripper writhes, bending over backwards and pushing her chest out while stroking her legs. A third stripper is shown in a red negligee spreading her legs. All three strippers dance. The one in red caresses her crotch, then points her rear at the audience and kicks her leg. The bra-clad stripper spins on the pole. The third straddles a couch and humps her crotch against its back.

Stripper Blue Mondae, seen only from behind, leans forward, dangling her tasseled breasts in Christian's face. Her naked back and her naked breast, with only the nipple covered, are shown from behind and to the side.  Christian leans forward and leers in delight as the stripper poses for him.

Christian: "Nothin' like the real thing, baby!"

Blue: "Everything's real about me except my name -- Blue Mondae. I made it up when I moved out here from Embarass, Minnesota. That's the coldest place in the United States. I nearly froze my hooters off."

Blue leans back, spreading her legs and displaying her genitals for Christian, who stares at her crotch. Blue writhes, assuming various poses for Christian as she talks. A close-up focuses on her breasts, with only her nipples covered by pasties.

Blue: "Wanna know my real name?"

Christian: "Honey, everything I need to know about you is bouncing right in front of my face."

Blue: "You can have 'em. They're like huge weights around my neck. By the end of the day --"

Christian: "Sweetheart, I pay you money to keep it simple. Which means more ass and less mouth -- unless it's suckin' on me hard."

• Christian has intercourse with Blue. A side view explicitly shows Christian and Blue copulating. Both are completely naked. Blue's leg is positioned so that her and Christian's genitals are concealed. Her hands are placed on Christian's chest, her arms concealing her breasts. Blue humps up and down wildly as Christian gasps in pleasure.  In front angles from Christian's point of view, Blue's breasts are concealed by her hair.

Blue: "I can't get taken serious on account of everyone assumes I'm just some  big-titted whore. I couldn't even get a job at Sea World because my tits weren't family-friendly…if you made them look smaller then people's attitudes toward me would change. I could maybe go into business selling Mary Kay or somethin'. I could work it off."

Christian: "Sorry, honey. You could dance on my dick until you're 90. No pro bono for boning a pro, no matter how hot you are. New policy. Let's go. Yeah. Oh, yeah!"

Christian begins thrusting vigorously into Blue as she bounces up and down on him.  Blue humps even faster. She and Christian moan and cry out.

• Christian persuades Blue to have sex with Mitchell. Blue grinds her body against the seated Mitchell. Christian watches them as a stripper bends and dances before him.

   

  Blue: "Your thighs are so strong!...You're startin' to feel it too, huh baby?"

   

  Mitchell:" Yeah! I'm gettin' a woody."

   

  Blue: "You sure are, baby! Okay, now I'm gonna close my eyes and pretend that you're deep inside me. You do it too, okay?"

   

  Blue straddles Mitchell and grinds her crotch against his. She squeals and moans as she rubs against him. Mitchell pretends along with her.

   

  Mitchell: "I'm inside you."

   

  Blue: "Mmm. Are you pullin' it, baby?"

   

  Christian smirks in amusement as Mitchell and Blue mime copulation.

Language:

• The word "shit" was used nine times in this episode. "Tits" was used six times. "Blowjob," "asshole/ass" and "hell" were used four times each. "Dick" was used three times and "goddamn" was used twice. A variety of other words, such as "Jesus [used profanely]," "bitch" and "woody" were each used once.

• Mitchell visits Christian and tells him that Arthur has cut him off financially.

   

  Christian: "Jesus."

   

  Christian gives Mitchell money. Mitchell stares as Christian's naked torso and asks to use Christian's bathroom.

   

  Christian: "Oh, shit."

   

  Mitchell returns totally naked. He is seen from behind, his rear visible.

   

  Christian: "What the hell are you doing?"

   

  Mitchell: "I like to work for my money. How about I give you the best blowjob you've ever had? And then maybe I could stay here."

   

  Christian: "I told you, asshole. I'm not gay. Get your clothes and get the hell outta here."

   

  Mitchell: "Gay, straight, bi -- who gives a shit about labels, right? A blowjob's a blowjob."

   

  Mitchell approaches Christian and caresses his shoulder, then moves his hand towards Christian's waist. Christian punches Mitchell in the face.

   

  Christian: "Get out! Get out, before I break your goddamn skull!"

Violence:

• Sean operates on the barrista. His scalpel is shown cutting into the man's shaven head as rivulets of blood leak out.  Blood-soaked bandages are seen as Sean drills into his skull, the drill point seen entering the man's head. A close-up shows several holes drilled in the head and Sean connecting the holes by drilling lines between them. The square patch of bloody skull bone, with skin attached, is removed from the man's skull and shaved to the correct size and shape. Sean inserts the bone fragment into the man's mouth but learns that the bone won't fit correctly.

September 5, 2006 10:00 pm EST