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WARNING: Graphic Content!!! Do NOT push play if you don't want to see the explicit video!!!

Sit Down, Shut Up on Fox

On Sunday nights, the Fox network specializes in puerile cartoons -- and their newest animated series, Sit Down, Shut Up certainly fits that description.  However, given the poor ratings and cringe-worthy subject matter, a better title would have been Tune Out, Turn Off.  In a desperate attempt to find some kind of an audience, Fox has moved the septic show to Sunday at 7:00 p.m. ET. For taking an unscrupulous stab at the heart of Family Hour with its sexually explicit content, Sit Down, Shut Up has been named Worst TV Show of the Week.

The series focuses on the tawdry shenanigans of teachers and administrators at Knob Haven High School.  In the May 3^rd episode, Principal Sezno announces to the staff that the school board is going to determine if Knob Haven is eligible for the distinguished school award which recognizes teachers of the highest moral character.  Meanwhile, Ennis Hofftard – the libidinous, dim-witted English teacher – cannot stop bragging about his salacious weekend.  He storms into the break room and announces, “I know I'm late but I hate this job and I had sex with - get this - three women this weekend!”

Principal Sezno complains, “Well, there goes our distinguished school endowment.” 

“Speaking of endowments,” Ennis continues, “I didn't get any complaints about my endowments this weekend. Well I got two complaints but they weren't about size, they were about speed.  But not number three - that was all about firmness.”

The busty, dim-witted science teacher, Miracle Grohe, challenges her colleagues to strive for the award, proclaiming, “Well, I think it's time for a hero to step forward and have the guts to care again.  And when that person does, I'll devote my life to thanking that hero in any way that hero can think of.  Be it carnal, be it manual, be it oral, be it annual.”

Sex talk in the break room is one thing, but when Ennis prattles on about his weekend conquests in front of a classroom of students, it’s just plain creepy.  He tells his students, “The first woman I made sweet, sweet sex at was Faith Gomez.   I met Faith in the frozen food aisle where her lasagna for one let me know she was crying out for my touch.  The lasagna wasn't bad either.  When I was taking out the trash I see my neighbor, Destiny Insky, flashing her glorious breasts at me.  I made mad crazy passionate super-quick love to her.  Knock, knock, who's there?  It's her sister.”  A student raises his hand, and Ennis asks, “Is this a question about my super, sexy-quick, only-one-complaint-about-firmness story?” 

In order to present a modicum of moral character, the disgruntled and dim-witted librarian, Helen Klench, purges the shelves of all books containing racy content including the dictionary.  According to her, “I had to get rid of it because it had words like fellatio and evolution in it.  There was even the word evelatio - which is the theory that man created fellatio.  And boy, I can tell you that one is true.” 

Meanwhile, the depressed (and, yes, dim-witted) German teacher, Willard Deutchebog  attempts to overcome his phobia of driving.  In a flashback, he explains the incident that triggered his fear.  The gist of his story is this: he went to a drive-in with his girlfriend who, it is implied, was performing oral sex on him when he lost control of the car and drove it into the movie screen. 

As the teachers prepare for the school board’s review, Ennis practices his speech in front of Ms. Sezno.  Even in rehearsal, he is wracked with stage fright, so he thinks about kittens in order to calm himself down.  The kitten, though, becomes a demented voice of his subconscious.  “Shut up and listen to me, man,” the cat screams, “she'll cut your jigglies off, man.  She'll cut your ____ [bleeped “f***ing”] jigglies off.  Wait, she's still there.  Lick your business.  Lick your business.”  Ennis drops to the ground with his head between his legs. 

It is sad enough that the show paints such a negative portrait of school teachers, but it goes beyond merely being irresponsible.  It is patently offensive.  For Fox to show this garbage at 7 p.m. Eastern – only 6:00 p.m. Central/Mountain! -- when children are most likely to tune in, merely to boost its pathetic ratings, just goes to show that Fox has completely abandoned its obligations to American families.  Over the past few weeks, it has aired reruns of American Dad, another vile animated series unsuitable for children.  Indeed, the Sunday 7 p.m. timeslot has become a wasteland for Fox to dump beleaguered shows and dispensable reruns.  Perhaps if Fox devoted that timeslot to quality family entertainment as originally intended, viewers would actually start tuning in.  Sadly, Fox appears too dim-witted to do that.        

For sexually explicit dialogue and suggestive sexual depictions, Sit Down, Shut Up has been named Worst TV Show of the Week.