1%-5% of your purchase will help support the PTC.

Worst TV Show of the Week Brought to you by the Parents Television Council	Share |
WARNING: Graphic Content!!! Do NOT push play if you don't want to see the explicit video!!!

Two and a Half Men on CBS

According to the Chinese Zodiac, it’s currently the Year of the Tiger.  But judging by the tabloids in the past year, it’s really been the Year of the Tiger…the Jesse James…the John Edwards…the Mark Sanford…the David Letterman…the Chris Brown…and, alas, the Charlie Sheen.  What is with all these rich and famous men behaving badly?  Ironically, the media loves to tear men apart when they’ve fallen from grace while at the same time encouraging the very behavior they decry. 

To be sure, the PTC is not placing the blame for their transgressions on the shoulders of Chuck Lorre.  But it is valid to point out the mixed messages about masculinity the media sends to men in positions of power.  That type of mixed messaging was on full display during the March 22^nd episode of Two and a Half Men (Mondays, 9:00 p.m. ET).  For sexually explicit content and for encouraging unethical behavior, the CBS sitcom Two and Half Men rightfully deserves the title of Worst TV Show of the Week.

The episode opens as Alan – the mousy chiropractor played by Jon Cryer – treats a patient named Mrs. Honeycut.  He rubs her lower back.  Gradually, her moans grow louder. 

ALAN: “Am I hurting you?”

HONEYCUT: “No. God, no!  Nobody’s touched me like this since my husband died!”

Outside, the receptionist can hear the patient’s moans.  Soon, Mrs. Honeycut is screaming at the top of her lungs.

HONEYCUT: “Don't stop!”

ALAN: “I'm not stopping!”

HONEYCUT: “Spank me!” 

ALAN: “I'm sorry?”

HONEYCUT: “Spank my lonely ass!”

ALAN: “What?”

HONEYCUT: “Do it, bitch!”

The receptionist hears a slapping sound.

HONEYCUT: “Do it, Dr. Harper!  Do it!  Yes, oh God, yes!”

After her apparent orgasm, Alan comes out of the exam room and tries to carry on business-as-usual with his receptionist.  Mrs. Honeycut, however, comes out and arranges for Alan to come visit her later for a “house call.”  Initially, Alan has qualms about sexually gratifying a patient -- but admits that he enjoys the extra money that Mrs. Honeycut pays him.

Meanwhile, Charlie has recently broken up with his girlfriend, Chelsea, and he happens to run into her statuesque, attractive best friend, Gail.  Needless to say, Charlie ends up sleeping with Gail.  While she’s in the bathroom, Charlie receives a phone call from Chelsea, who wants to get back together.  He agrees to meet with her the following day.  Gail emerges from the bathroom, ready for round two.  She disrobes and stands naked in front of Charlie before she climbs into bed.  Charlie admits to Gail that Chelsea just called and he’s getting back together with her.  Charlie asks Gail to do him a favor:

CHARLIE: “So we should probably keep what happened tonight just between us, right?  Mums the word.  Zip the lip.  Ix-nay on the oggy-day yle-stay.”

GAIL: “Of course…You know you could just pretend that you didn’t get the phone call for like another hour.”

CHARLIE: “We could, couldn’t we?  But wouldn’t that be wrong?”

GAIL: “I won’t tell if you don’t.”

CHARLIE: “Um, I’m sorry Gail.  I can’t justify it for myself.” 

GAIL: “Okay, can I at least kiss you goodnight?”

They kiss passionately for a moment.

CHARLIE: “On the other hand there’s no arguing with a boner.”

Alan returns from his “house call” feeling dejected, like a cheap prostitute.  The only thing that makes him feel better is seeing Gail come down the stairs, and knowing that at least he’s not as bad as Charlie. 

Or is he?

The next time Alan sees Mrs. Honeycut in his office, he tells her that he’s not comfortable accepting money for the “services” he renders. 

ALAN:  “You know what, I’m sorry.  I can’t do this…I am a professional.  I studied chiropractic for three years in Guadalajara…I did not go through all of that to become some sort of G-spot Johnny.” 

HONEYCUT:  “Is that what you think you are?“

ALAN: “Well, you’re giving me money and I’m giving you what I’m giving you.  It’s just it make me feel cheap.” 

HONEYCUT:  “So it’s too much like a business transaction.”

ALAN:  “Exactly.”

HONEYCUT:  “Well, how ‘bout we forget the money and I’ll show you something I learned in Guadalajara.” 

She grabs his belt and pulls him toward her.  Outside, the receptionist can hear Alan sing a Mexican tune ecstatically.  When Alan escorts Mrs. Honeycut to the door, he asks if they can keep their original arrangement.  Turns out, he is cheap.  In the end, he’d prefer the money.

Unfortunately, the tired joke doesn’t end there.  As Alan walks back to his office, the receptionist asks him to give her an adjustment like the one he gives Mrs. Honeycut.  When Alan suggests that it wouldn’t be appropriate, she says, "Then I want a raise and dental."  Alan tells her to hop on a table.  He closes the exam door behind them.

Trading sexual favors to buy off an employee and to earn extra cash from a patient.  Frankly, this is the type of stuff that would land someone in the local news, and in court.  Here, of course, Alan’s violation of medical ethics is played for laughs.  Sadly, though, as the aforementioned celebs will attest, scandals aren’t as funny in real life.  Unlike the world of sitcoms, there are real consequences for men who behave badly.

For sexually explicit content and for encouraging unethical behavior, Two and a Half Men has been named Worst TV Show of the Week.