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Bachelor Pad on ABC
Frankenbite (n): a snippet
of a reality show spliced from disparate scenes in order to manufacture conflict
and enhance the drama. Every reality show does it. And on ABC’s Bachelor Pad
from August 16th, the technique was used to amp sexual content where
there was none. Sadly, however, the bogus sexual content wasn’t the most
offensive moment on the show. In what can rightfully be called the most
off-putting moment of the entire summer season of broadcast television,
Bachelor Pad earned the title of Worst TV Show of the Week for
the second straight time.
The show revels in
contestants manipulating one another in order to win a cash prize of $250,000.
But the contestants aren’t the only ones doing the manipulating. When
on-again-off-again Elizabeth and Kovacs aren’t fighting they are seducing one
another in the midst of game-play strategizing. Kovacs informs Elizabeth that
she has let emotions get the better of her when she complained to the other
girls about her unrequited love for him, thereby making him a target. She
slithers out of the hot tub in a skimpy bikini and asks, “Is there anything I
can do to make it up to you?” They start to kiss passionately. Kovacs, in
voice-over, explains, “I might as well use her, or try to utilize that situation
[to win].” He escorts her away from the hot tub and the scene quickly shifts to
the bathroom, where someone is taking a shower. It’s hard to tell by the
silhouettes on the shower curtain exactly what’s going on and who is in the
shower, but the audio suggests that it is Elizabeth and Kovacs fooling around
while the steam rises.
The more savvy viewers will
note that the audio doesn’t entirely match what’s going on and the couple is
never shown entering or leaving the stall. In fact, it could be anyone behind
the curtain and the audio could have been cobbled together from hours of other
footage. The scene isn’t so much steamy as it is fishy, a feeble attempt by the
producers to make the show more salacious than it really is.
The worst scene in the
episode, however, occurred within the first 15 minutes. The episode began with
another sophomoric, vaguely suggestive competition: a pie eating contest.
Normally, when you eat a messy meal you might don a bib. While reality shows
might claim to be “real,” they certainly aren’t “normal.” So instead of covering
themselves up, the contestants strip down. The women peel off their bulky
sweaters and loose t-shirts as the camera lingers on their bikini-tops and
sports bras. Inexplicably, the women are forced to the conduct the
post-challenge testimonials with pie still covering their faces while only the
winner on the men’s side had to endure the same humiliation.
The sexy vibe quickly turns,
however, when the women start to feel nauseous. In a scene straight out of
Stand by Me, the pie-eating-contest devolves into a disgusting puke-fest.
The women are doubled over with their heads buried in waste baskets. Elizabeth
vomits into her own hands. One of the men notes, “I’m sure Tenley vomited into
the pie and continued to eat. That’s pretty gross.” That’s an understatement.
This scene alone was perhaps
ABC’s nadir, its inevitable slide into the muck of reality show tailings now
that its established franchises (The Bachelor/The Bachelorette) have been
stripped of their worthwhile premise. Bachelor Pad has absolutely no
redeeming qualities. It’s the worst of tasteless, trashy television and it
rightly deserves the title of Worst TV Show of the Week.
Parents Television Council,
www.parentstv.org, PTC,
Clean Up TV Now, Because our children are watching, The
nation's most influential advocacy organization, Protecting
children against sex, violence and profanity in
entertainment, Parents Television Council Seal of Approval,
and Family Guide to Prime Time Television
are trademarks of the Parents Television Council.