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Unaccompanied Minors

By J. Byron Dean

 

Release Date: December 8, 2006
MPAA RATING: PG - For crude humor and some language
Starring: Lewis Black, Wilmer Valderrama, Tyler James Williams, Dyllan Christopher, Brett Kelly with Teri Garr.
Genre: Family Comedy
Recommended Age: 10+

 

A fun twist on Charles Dickens' A Christmas Carol, this fun film has its Scrooge (Lewis Black as Passenger Relations Manager Oliver Porter), Tiny Tim (Dominique Saldana as Katherine) and Bob Cratchet (Wilmer Valderrama as Zach Van Bourke, one of Porter's subordinates). 

 

When a terrible snow storm hits the Chicago area, all flights are cancelled, including the flight Porter was to take to Hawaii for his first vacation in 15 years.  Now snowbound in the airport with no chance of making his escape to warm and sunny Hawaii, Porter begins to take his bad luck out on his underlings, especially Zach. 

 

Zach is dispatched to round up all of the unaccompanied minors (U.M.) and take them to a holding room until arrangements can be made to house them temporarily.  Spencer (Dyllan Christopher) and his little sister Katherine (Katy) – who were on their way to visit their father -- ask Zach why there are no Christmas decorations in the airport.  Zach explains that his boss, Porter, doesn't care much for Christmas. 

 

Spencer and Katy arrive at the holding room where 60 other children have taken over and are wreaking havoc. 

 

Zach's hands are tied.  All of the children must remain in the room until further arrangements can be made.  But Spencer is appalled by the way the other children are acting and wants nothing to do with them.

 

Spencer, along with pretty teenage socialite Grace (Gina Mantegna), 11-year-old tomboy Donna (Quinn Shephard), the 11-year-old techno-wiz Charlie (Tyler James Williams of Everybody Hates Chris), and overweight 12-year-old  Timothy "Beef" Wellington (Brett Kelly) escape the horrible and chaotic U.M. room with Porter's staff in hot pursuit.  

 

The children are eventually returned to the holding room only to discover that the rest of the children have been taken to the airport lodge – including little Katy.  They also learn that as punishment, Porter will not let them join the other children and tells them they must remain in the U.M. holding room.  Spencer and the other children plan another "break out" and do just about anything to keep out of Porter's grasp and get themselves to the lodge to ensure Katy has a real Christmas.

 

VIOLENCE:

Donna, the tomboy, has an extreme issue with being touched and anyone that does so promptly gets a fist in the stomach.  She punches a mall Santa, Oliver Porter and Charlie (though by reflex as they have become friends).  It is implied that an angry hotel guest punches Porter.  We see the guest draw back his closed fist, while holding Porter by the shirt collar and then the scene cuts away.  Later we see Porter with a bloody nose and a black eye.

 

Some scary moments for younger or sensitive children are when Charlie gets tossed onto the baggage conveyor belt while hiding inside a suitcase.  We see him inside as the case is flung from one layer to another and how he is banged around inside as well as how Donna jumps on in an attempt to save him and is herself carried along on a wild ride.

 

There is also a cartoonish chase scene in which the children and Zach are pursued down a snow covered hill by Porter and various airport security guards.  A few of the security guards crash and one lands head-first in a snow bank but none are hurt.

 

CRUDE HUMOR:

One scene shows Charlie's feet from under the door to a bathroom stall as he is obviously relieving himself.  In another, Charlie accidentally passes gas in Donna's face while the children are escaping through an air duct.  He immediately apologizes and says he's nervous.  A group of boys in the holding room engage in a burping contest – but the child stars show their disapproval by refusing to participate.

 

LANGUAGE:

Bad language is limited to words like damn and suckers.  The PG rating is much more for the brief bathroom humor than language.

 

Although there is no explicit language, sexual innuendo or violence, the few scary moments and bathroom humor make this film better suited for families with children ages 10 and up. 

 


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