Worst Cable TV Show of the Week: Tosh.0 on Comedy Central

A year-end celebration of Daniel Tosh’s utterly crass and tasteless, lowest-common-denominator “humor” explains why the Tuesday, December 2^nd season finale of Comedy Central’s Tosh.0 is the Worst Cable TV Show of the Week. Tosh begins his gross-out porn and potty language rip-off of America’s Funniest Home Videos in typical style: “If Parkinson’s is so funny, how come The Michael J. Fox Show got cancelled? Everyone who says ‘laughter is the best medicine’ has never had morphine.” Tosh says this, by the way, in response to a woman who admits she has Parkinson’s. How delightful, mocking those with a painful disease. But Tosh is just getting warmed up. First, some obligatory racism (combined with graphic sexual commentary): Tosh: “Asians make the worst firefighters, because none of them can drive the truck.” [A fire extinguisher squirts into an Asian woman’s face.] “It always comes back to bukkake with them. What a hilarious story for her to think about later while her husband is talking.” Then, more gross-out material, as graphic footage of a boil being lanced and the pus squeezed out is played to Tosh’s commentary, “After six seasons, I thought I’d seen every bodily fluid. I bet you could use that as lip balm.” Then, we’re shown footage of a woman urinating on an escalator, and a pair of women with gigantic breasts, only the nipples blurred, massaging one another’s bosoms. Tosh: “It’s time for your daily dose of vitamin double-D. Look at the slice of bologna she calls an areola. I guess we’re about to watch the ‘Baby Do the Breast Milk’ Gallon Challenge.” Next, it’s time for some anti-religious bigotry – in this case, Mormon-bashing (made so fashionable by Tosh’s cohorts on Comedy Central, South Park’s creators Trey Parker and Matt Smith) in a story of a woman’s car being hit by a train: Tosh: “We’re in Utah, so it goes without saying that the suspect is white. Was she drinking that watered-down beer on a Sunday? Or worse, maybe she had some caffeine. Whatever she did, chances are it’s legal in every other state. [The car is hit by the train.] Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints! Somebody just got her own planet. That officer’s going to need a clean pair of magic underwear…She’s survived by her husband, 20 children, and eight sister-wives. I’m kidding. She only had a broken arm – and for that, we thank Joseph Smith.” Then follows a compilation of Tosh using the (bleeped) f-word dozens of times: “You (bleeped f***ing) idiot. F**k me, I f**ked that up. Godd**n you! F**k me. F**k me. You f**king…” After a break, Tosh recaps 2014, with a river of gratuitous insult “humor”: Tosh: “In 2014, the last original piece of Joan Rivers finally stopped working. We found out why Robin Williams was more comfortable wearing suspenders than a belt. Bruce Jenner completed his transformation into the second-hottest Kardashian sister. We learned that the reason Kids Say the Darndest Things is because they’re being grilled by a sexual predator. ESPN (bleeped f**ked) me right in the pussy. Honey Boo Boo molested her mom, or something. I wasn’t paying attention to that one.” Then, a long series of clips offered “highlights” of the season of Tosh.0 just past, including:

• Tosh: “Can you see the outline of my penis through my pants?”

• Man (to Tosh): “Take a dump on that floor, would’ya? Teach this asshole a lesson!”

• Man (looking at Hustler): “Why don’t these women have hair on their privates? Are these children?”

• Tosh is shown wearing a thong with a fake penis dangling from it, as he touches the genital region of a woman wearing a “Skank Tank” around her crotch.

• A man is shown performing oral sex on a woman, while in a drive-thru lane of a fast-food restaurant. Tosh (as restaurant employee): “I’m surprised you’re still hungry.”

• Hospitalized woman: “You’ve gotta do everything at least once.”Tosh: “What about double-penetration anal?”

• “Retired Army Commander William Donley”: “Chris was a natural-born leader…and a big fan of titties.”

Tosh bellows at a well-endowed woman in a bikini: “You gross mother (bleeped f**ker)! You disgust me!”

• Seated next to an attractive woman, Tosh runs a phone-in show.

Tosh: “Next caller. Keep it clean, and don’t say a word about my wife!” caller: “Nice tits, bitch.”

• Tosh is shown with his pants around his ankles, about to fellate a penis through a “glory hole.” Another penis in another hole appears ready to violate him anally. The penes are blurred.

• Two naked men stand, fellating two other men who are seated on their shoulders. Crotches are blurred.

• Two naked men are shown anally copulating in a crowded elevator as a group of clothed people look on.

Much could be said about this tidal wave of ultra-graphic material, but three points in particular stand out: One: While Tosh would no doubt claim to be an “equal-opportunity offender,” the misogyny on display throughout his series is truly breathtaking, with women routinely called “bitch” and reduced to their breasts and genitals. What lessons are the teen- and twenty-something males this show undoubtedly attracts learning about how to treat women? Two: This episode was rated TV-14. In what universe are references to bukkake, “double-penetration anal,” “double-D cup areolas,” and graphic copulation appropriate for 14 year olds? And three: Given the fact that most of the show’s content would be utterly repugnant to most audience members, why is every cable and satellite subscriber in America FORCED to subsidize this filth? Sadly, it is all too likely that the sex-obsessed, potty-mouthed, bigoted woman-hater Daniel Tosh’s show will return again next year. But for now, we can at least celebrate the fact that it’s over for this year. In gratitude for that fact, Comedy Central’s Tosh.0 is hereby declared the Worst Cable TV Show of the Week. Carl’s Jr. sponsored this program. To contact them with your concerns, click here.